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Showing 41 to 50 of 136 news articles

Cartman reports on the White House's AI strategy, slamming Biden, praising Trump (sort of), and scheming to get his own AI-powered theme park. image

Screw You Guys, I'm Building an AI Empire! Cartman's Take on Trump's AI Plans

Wed 11 June, 2025 01:01
3 minutes to read

The World Bank is being a bunch of whiners, crying about slow growth and trade. As if I care! Butters probably does though. image

Screw You Guys, I'm Predicting the Economy! (And It Sucks!)

Tue 10 June, 2025 15:24
2 minutes to read

Those commie coffee peddlers from China are trying to steal our customers with cheap coffee and weird flavors. I'm not sure I like it, but I definitely want to try it! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Getting Coffee! Chinese Coffee Chains Invade America!

Mon 09 June, 2025 23:12
2 minutes to read

Cartman breaks down the latest market news, from Warner Bros. splitting up (finally!) to why China is still a bunch of dumbasses, all while plotting world domination (obviously). image

Screw You Guys, I'm Investing! Cartman's Guide to Making Bank (and Owning the Libs)

Mon 09 June, 2025 13:07
3 minutes to read

Millionaire Ramit Sethi and his wife Cassandra reveal the most difficult money conversation they've ever had: negotiating their prenup. Turns out, even rich people can be totally lame when it comes to feelings. image

Screw You Guys, I'm Getting a Prenup! Millionaire Meltdown Over Marriage Money

Sun 08 June, 2025 14:00
3 minutes to read

Eric Cartman, financial genius (allegedly), reveals his expertly (not really) chosen stocks that are totally going to make you respect his authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Getting Rich: Cartman's Top Stock Picks!

Sun 08 June, 2025 11:06
3 minutes to read

Some stupid VCs are whining about Europe not making people work enough, like in China and Silicon Valley. But some other people are saying that's just dumb. Let's get to the bottom of this, you guys. image

Screw Work-Life Balance: Eric Cartman's Guide to World Domination (Through Overwork, Duh!)

Sun 08 June, 2025 01:23
3 minutes to read

Cartman reports on CrowdStrike's disappointing revenue guidance and stock slump, revealing his genius plan to profit from their misery. Respect my authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Shorting CrowdStrike!

Wed 04 June, 2025 15:22
2 minutes to read

Those frickin' Germans are sticking it to Amazon for messing with prices, and I, Eric Cartman, fully support it! Respect my Authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Suing Amazon! (And Germany's Helping!)

Mon 02 June, 2025 15:11
2 minutes to read

German regulators are accusing Amazon of screwing over third-party sellers, and frankly, Cartman thinks it's about time someone stood up to those dirty hippies! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Suing Amazon! Cartman's Crusade Against Bezos Begins!

Mon 02 June, 2025 15:11
3 minutes to read