Screw You Guys, I'm Predicting the Economy! (And It Sucks!)

Respect My Authoritah! (On Economics)

Okay listen up you guys. The World Bank which is probably run by a bunch of hippies and Canadians says the world economy is gonna be slow in 2025. They're saying it'll only grow by 2.3%. That's like slower than Butters trying to run away from a fight. They're blaming trade like always. Bunch of whiners! They should just get good get better and shut their mouths! It's not that hard you know.

Trade Wars? More Like Trade...Bores!

Apparently these 'trade uncertainties' are messing everything up. According to some nerd at the World Bank named Indermit Gill (sounds like a Klingon name if you ask me) all this arguing about trade is making it harder to 'shrink extreme poverty'. Oh boo hoo! Who cares about poverty? Not me! I care about getting my Cheesy Poofs on time and if these trade wars are messing that up then I'm gonna be pissed!

America **** Yeah! (Except When the Economy Sucks)

Even the U.S. is gonna be affected! The World Bank lowered their 2025 growth forecast for the U.S. to 1.4%. That's almost as bad as Kenny's chances of surviving an episode. And Europe? Forget about it! Only 0.7% growth. Seriously what are those Europeans doing over there? Probably just eating snails and surrendering. Douchebags!

Blame Canada! (And China and Europe)

Of course everyone's blaming Trump for this. Saying his tariffs are making things worse. Well maybe if those other countries weren't so stupid they wouldn't be in this mess! I mean come on it's simple economics! Or something. I dunno I learned it all from that Scott Tenorman episode. He had pigs in his underwear I think.

Maybe We Can Just Nuke the Problem

The World Bank says things could get better if everyone makes nice and signs some trade agreements. But let's be real that's never gonna happen. Everyone's too busy being greedy and stupid. Maybe we should just nuke the whole world and start over. That would solve the trade problem for sure! Plus I could finally have my own theme park Cartmanland without any stupid tourists messing it up!

Screw You Guys I'm Going Home (To Eat Cheesy Poofs)

So there you have it. The world economy is going to suck. But who cares? I'm Eric Cartman and I'm awesome. I'm going home to eat Cheesy Poofs and watch TV. And if anyone tries to stop me I'll just yell 'Respect my authoritah!' and kick them in the nuts. Now get out of here you guys. You're ruining my report!