Screw You Guys, I'm Getting a Prenup! Millionaire Meltdown Over Marriage Money

Respect My Authoritah! Prenups Are For Everyone

Oh my god you guys listen up! This self proclaimed millionaire dude Ramit Sethi – yeah never heard of him either – apparently writes books about money. And he was cryin' about how hard it was to get a prenup with his wife Cassandra. A PRENUP! Like seriously? You'd think rich people would know how to handle their cash but nope. They're just as dumb as Butters when it comes to feelings and stuff. Suze Orman who actually knows what she's talking about says everyone needs a prenup. It's like duh! Otherwise you're gonna end up fighting in court like a bunch of smelly hippies.

Sweet! Business Is Boomin'

So this Ramit dude was already rolling in dough when he brought up the prenup. Can you believe it? And Cassandra being a girl didn't know much about his money schemes. But here's the kicker: they both AGREED to get a prenup but then they started fighting! I'm not even kidding! Apparently Ramit was all about the numbers and Cassandra was all about like feelings or whatever. Girls are so weird.

Screw You Guys I'm Going Home...To My Therapist!

This is where it gets REALLY stupid. They went to a THERAPIST! A therapist you guys! To talk about money! It's like what is this Oprah? The therapist asked them how they view money. Ramit was all 'Growth duh!' And Cassandra was like 'Safety!' Oh gee I never would have guessed that men think about growing and girls are scared about having nothing. What a shocker!

Kick Ass and Take Names!

Here's a revelation for you you guys. This whole stupid prenup thing actually helped them like connect. Can you believe it? They learned how to talk about their feelings and stuff. Cassandra said Ramit wanted her to "get better at money." I mean duh! And Ramit realized he needed to listen to Cassandra's feelings. Barf! I'd rather eat my own pants than listen to a girl talk about her feelings.

Lame O Lessons Learned

So after seven years of being married they're all touchy feely about how the prenup taught them stuff. Cassandra learned about "abundance" from Ramit. Whatever that means. And Ramit learned about feelings. Double barf! He actually said it changed the way he relates to people! This whole thing is starting to sound like a hippie convention.

Respect My Authority! Learn How to Buy a House

Oh and guess what? These guys are trying to sell you a course on how to buy a house. As if anyone cares! But hey if you're dumb enough to want to buy a house go ahead and waste your money. Just don't come crying to me when you're broke and living in a cardboard box. I'll be too busy counting my money and laughing at you.