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Showing 101 to 110 of 136 news articles

Putin announces a three-day ceasefire, but Ukraine and the U.S. aren't buying it. It's like when Kyle tries to be nice, but it's just a big Jew plot! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Declaring a Ceasefire! Putin's Totally Awesome (Not) Plan

Mon 28 April, 2025 14:00
2 minutes to read

Big corporations are ditching LGBTQ+ Pride sponsorships faster than Kyle ditches a fart, leaving Pride organizers scrambling for cash and wondering if anyone even cares anymore. Respect my authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Cutting Off Pride (Maybe): Corporations Get Woke-ish Then Go Broke-ish!

Sun 27 April, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Cartman breaks down the latest market chaos, trade war tantrums, and why everyone's running scared from the U.S. economy. Respect my Authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Tanking the Economy! Trade Wars and Why Your Mom's Investments are Toast!

Fri 25 April, 2025 20:12
2 minutes to read

Trump's executive order aims to fast-track deep-sea mining, sparking controversy and challenging global regulations in a bid to surpass China. image

Screw You Guys, I'm Mining the Ocean! Trump Tells the World to Respect His Authoritah!

Fri 25 April, 2025 10:36
3 minutes to read

Amazon and Nvidia bigwigs are saying the AI data center boom ain't slowing down, despite what those stupid Wall Street nerds think. More power, more AI, respect my authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Powering AI! Amazon and Nvidia Say It's Full Steam Ahead!

Thu 24 April, 2025 17:54
2 minutes to read

Procter & Gamble reports mixed results, blaming tariffs and consumer jitters, hinting at future price hikes and a dimmer outlook. image

Screw You Guys, I'm Raising Prices! P&G's Gonna Make You Eat Dirt!

Thu 24 April, 2025 12:20
2 minutes to read

New polls reveal a massive drop in Americans' confidence in President Trump's economic management, with approval ratings plummeting to their lowest point since he took office. Respect my Authoritah! image

Trump's Economy is Totally Lame! Even I Could Do Better!

Wed 23 April, 2025 21:55
2 minutes to read

Cartman reports on Trump's surprising about-face on firing Fed Chair Jerome Powell, a development that's got Wall Street doing the 'Respect My Authority' dance. image

OMG! Did President Trump Just Back Down From Firing That Dumb Fed Chair Powell?

Tue 22 April, 2025 22:12
2 minutes to read

That tennis dude, Andre Agassi, is slumming it with the pickleballers, teaming up with some girl named Anna Leigh Waters. It's gonna be televised, so get your Cheesy Poofs ready. image

Screw Tennis! Andre Agassi Ditches Racket for Pickleball! Respect My Authoritah!

Tue 22 April, 2025 13:00
2 minutes to read

Despite economic uncertainty, sports betting stocks are showing surprising resilience, outperforming the broader market. Cartman weighs in, because obviously, he's an expert. image

Screw the Economy Sports Betting is Making Me Rich Bitch!

Mon 21 April, 2025 19:40
3 minutes to read