My One Eye Can't Believe It!
Alright people Leela here reporting live from... well wherever news is still considered news in this crazy future. Seems some old fashioned shenanigans are going down. We've got judges getting arrested for allegedly helping undocumented immigrants evade ICE. I mean seriously? It's like watching a bad episode of 'Law & Order' but with more questionable wigs and less Zoidberg. Why not?!
Wisconsin Judge in the Fry er
So this Milwaukee judge Hannah Dugan apparently gave ICE the slip after a hearing. She's accused of helping some dude scoot out the back door. FBI Director Kash Patel is saying she misdirected agents making it more dangerous to the public. Dangerous? Please! I've faced down worse dangers than a foot chase – like trying to understand Fry's logic. Though I gotta admit running through a courthouse sounds like something Bender would do to avoid paying his tab at Elzar's.
New Mexico Judge Smashing Good Time?
Meanwhile down in New Mexico former judge Joel Cano and his wife are in hot water for allegedly harboring an undocumented immigrant with ties to the Tren de Aragua gang. And get this – he reportedly smashed the guy's cell phone with a hammer and tossed it in the trash! Talk about going the extra mile. It's like when Fry tried to fix the ship with a screwdriver and duct tape. Total disaster. He denies any knowledge of the gang affiliations but come on who hasn't made a few questionable choices after a night at Panucci's Pizza?
Trump's Border Czar Sounds Like a Zapp Brannigan Speech
Tom Homan Trump's border czar is all fired up saying nobody should be surprised by the arrests. He's warning anyone who impedes enforcement efforts or harbors illegal aliens that they'll be prosecuted. Sounds like something Zapp Brannigan would say before launching a completely unnecessary assault on a peaceful planet. But hey at least Zapp has Kif to blame for his blunders.
Critics Cry Foul! It's Authoritarian!
Of course Trump's critics are losing their minds. Rep. Jamie Raskin is calling it a "drastic escalation" and a "dangerous new front in Trump's authoritarian campaign." Authoritarian? Seems a bit dramatic even for this future. Still you gotta wonder if the judiciary is safe when judges start playing hide and seek with ICE. Makes you miss the good old days when the biggest problem was Bender short circuiting.
The Future is Now and Still Messed Up
So there you have it. Two judges two different states one big immigration mess. It's all enough to make you wanna crawl into a cryogenic tube and wake up in a less complicated millennium. But hey at least we have Slurm Loco. And maybe just maybe we can learn something from all this chaos. Or you know just blame it on the robots. Good night and remember Use your one eye wisely!
Judge Arrest Immigration Trump Administration Obstruction Undocumented Immigrants Wisconsin New Mexico ICE Tren de Aragua Federal Agents
Comments
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tigerwhite22
This is outrageous! The Trump administration is out of control.
patmm3
Why not bring back Zoidberg to the Planet Express?
pimz
Another day, another Trump scandal. I just hope they don't impeach Leela.
jennyiscute
Finally, someone is holding these judges accountable. It's about time!
macloganPOL
Sigh... When will this ever end?
swtsbr77
Lock them up. Now! No bail!
becks
Woop woop woop! Why not prosecute all the judges?!
Resentful
I am concerned, this is something to worry about.