Trump's Tariff Tantrum: Who Needs Allies When You've Got Boom-Boom?

Shiny Numbers That Go BOOM!

Okay so like grown ups are freaking out about... numbers? They call 'em U.S. Treasury yields. Apparently they're barely moving which is *way* less exciting than a good explosion. The 10 year yield is up 1 basis point at 4.407%. A basis point? Is that even a real thing? Sounds boring! It's all 'cause someone called Trump decided to slap tariffs on a bunch of countries. Tariffs are like taxes but for stuff coming *into* the country. I still don't get it.

Trump's Twitter Tantrum (Again!)

So this Trump guy he's like tweeting and posting letters to everyone like some kinda control freak with a quill! Japan South Korea Malaysia... the list goes on and on! He’s saying he’s gonna tax their stuff 25% starting August 1st! Apparently he's waffled on the date more than I waffle on which gun to use next: Fishbones or Pow Pow? *Decisions decisions...*

Copper Caper: 50%?! Are You Kidding Me?

But wait there's more! Copper! He wants to tax *copper* 50%! Copper is shiny! Is he trying to hog all the shiny stuff for himself? Rude! That's even more insane than Vi thinking she can punch her way through everything. Like seriously does she ever get tired of punching?

Negotiations? More Like… Naaah!

He says he's open to 'negotiations'. Sure like I'm open to a 'calm discussion' about property damage! It's all talk talk talk. Meanwhile some fancy economist dude named David Kohl is saying all this tariff stuff is making everyone nervous and worried about inflation. Which sounds boring but apparently is a big deal.

Stagflation! Sounds Like a Bad Monster Movie!

This Kohl guy keeps saying 'stagflation'. Sounds like something out of a bad monster movie. Apparently it's bad for the economy. He also says Europe needs to do something to make up for all the mess this is causing. Basically everyone's blaming everyone else. Sounds about right!

Chaos is My Favorite Color (and Apparently Trump's Too?)

Look I don't know much about all this grown up money stuff. But I *do* know that chaos is FUN! And this whole tariff tantrum? It's definitely chaotic! So keep on tweeting Trump! Keep those tariffs coming! Just try not to blow up the world okay? I need a planet to cause mayhem on! Bye Bye!