Good News, Everyone! Oil Moguls Shrug at Impending Doom (Probably)

Not Another Tuesday!

Ugh another day another potential apocalypse. This time it's Iran and Israel throwing sand at each other. Apparently they had a bit of a tiff involving missiles and… oh you know the usual. According to some Earthican 'news' source the CEOs of Baker Hughes and Woodside Energy are watching with bated breath. Me? I'm just hoping it doesn't mess with the price of Slurm. That stuff is getting expensive!

Predicting the Future is for Saps

Lorenzo Simonelli the head honcho at Baker Hughes says he's learned not to predict oil prices. Smart move Lorenzo! Trying to predict the future is like trying to herd cats… on the moon. It's just gonna end in disaster. He mentioned the last 96 hours have been 'very fluid.' I guess that's CEO speak for 'we're all freaking out a little bit'. He is taking a 'wait and see' approach for the company projects so lets see what happens.

The Strait of Hormuz: Not Just a Funny Sounding Place

Meg O'Neill from Woodside Energy is also keeping an eye on things. She mentioned that the Strait of Hormuz is super important. Apparently like 20% of the world's oil sloshes through there. If that gets shut down we're all gonna be riding around on pogo sticks powered by angry kittens. Also she said oil prices are closely linked to geopolitics all the way back to WWII!

Blockade Blues

Iran might close the Strait of Hormuz in retaliation of the attacks between the two countries. As of Sunday the Strait remains open according to the Joint Maritime Information Center . They said there remains a media narrative on a potential blockade of the strait. If the supplies through the Strait are cut off then 'customers around the world would be scrambling to meet their own energy needs' says O'Neill. This is a code for 'Everyone Panic!'

Don't Have a Cow Man (Wait Wrong Show)

So what's the takeaway? Basically these bigwigs are saying they have no clue what's going to happen. Which let's be honest is pretty much how everyone feels all the time. I swear sometimes I think the whole world is run by a bunch of Zoidbergs…woop woop woop! Good thing I'm a capable and level headed cyclops.

Stay Tuned for More Mayhem!

In conclusion keep an eye on the news stock up on Slurm and maybe learn how to ride a pogo stick. You know just in case. And remember if things get really bad you can always join Planet Express. We're always hiring… or at least Fry is always getting fired and re hired. Same difference!