Crikey! OpenAI's Grand Scheme: Jony Ive, AI Gadgets, and World Domination (Maybe?)

The Dynamic Duo: Altman and Ive's Unholy (or Holy?) Alliance

Good heavens! It appears that OpenAI's CEO Sam Altman has declared Jony Ive that chap who made Apple look like well Apple as the 'greatest designer in the world.' Apparently they're joining forces in a deal worth billions to birth AI devices. It's like when I tried to team up with Brian to build a time machine only with less drool and slightly more realistic goals. Slightly. World domination anyone? Bwahahaha!

Ive's Apple Years: From iMac to iPhone A Design Revolution

Oh Jony Jony Jony... He's the bloke who practically invented sleekness. From the translucent iMacs (which let's face it were fabulous) to the ubiquitous iPhone he's been the puppet master behind some of the most lust worthy gadgets this side of my ray gun. Steve Jobs that turtleneck wearing visionary even called him his 'spiritual partner.' I bet that made Steve Wozniak feel just *terrific*. Poor guy!

Post Apple Blues? Ive's New Adventure

After nearly three decades of bossing around at Apple Ive decided to launch his own firm LoveFrom. How very… saccharine. But now it seems he's been tasked with sprinkling his magic dust all over OpenAI. Altman wants to capture that Apple mojo and frankly who wouldn't? I tried to build my own Apple once out of Lego it didn't end well…

The Vision: A Screen Free Utopia (Or Not)

Apparently these two dreamers envision a world where we're not all glued to our screens. Good luck with that chaps! They want to create AI devices that are less socially disruptive than the iPhone. So something that won't cause people to walk into fountains while texting? Ambitious! They're even wary of smart glasses. Well duh! Remember Google Glass? It looked like something out of a dystopian sci fi film. And not the cool kind like when I starred in that Star Wars spoof!

The AI Pin Fiasco: A Warning Sign?

Altman previously invested in Humane's AI pin a device that was supposed to revolutionize everything. Instead it flopped harder than Brian trying to do stand up comedy. Perhaps Ive can steer them clear of such embarrassing missteps. One can only hope. Otherwise this could be the beginning of a very bad sequel.

Potential Design: Wearable AI No Display?

Rumor has it they might be working on a wearable AI device possibly worn around the neck that connects to smartphones but has no display. So like AirPods but... fashion? It could begin production in 2027. I do hope they can manage to get that fashion element right otherwise we might have a real problem in our hands. After all what will be the point of technological advancement if it ends up looking ridiculous?!