China Declares War on America's Services Sector! Is This the End of 'Finding Nemo' in Beijing?

Oh Good Heavens More Trade Tantrums!

Right so China in a move that can only be described as 'utterly uncivilized,' has decided that tariffs are so last season. Apparently they're calling Trump's tariff increases a 'joke,' darling and planning to 'ignore' them. Imagine ignoring ME! The audacity! Instead they're now targeting the American services sector. It's like they're saying 'Fine you want to play with import duties? We'll take away your 'Finding Nemo' access!'

Boeing We Have a Problem!

And because chaos is a dish best served with a side of plane troubles China is now telling its airlines to cease and desist with the Boeing jet purchases. Oh the humanity! It's all part of Beijing's grand plan to make American companies feel the 'burn,' as Lois would say when she attempts to cook (disaster). They're not only refusing to buy new planes but aircraft related equipment and parts are getting the boot as well. This is worse than the time I tried to build a time machine out of Brian's old dog toys!

The Plot Thickens! Cyber Shenanigans!

As if all of this weren't enough the Chinese police are now claiming that some naughty Americans have been up to no good with cyberattacks. 'Zounds!' as Bertram would say if he were still around and involved in international cyber warfare. Chinese state media is practically begging everyone to ditch American tech for local alternatives. The paranoia is palpable darling! It's like Brian after he's had too much sherry...except geopolitically impactful.

Decoupling: It's Not Just a Bad Marriage!

Wendy Cutler from the Asia Society Policy Institute bless her heart is saying that this trade war is turning into a full blown decoupling. Not like when Mort Goldman tries to separate himself from his wife Muriel though that would be equally entertaining. Apparently it's tariffs and restrictions all the way down. We're talking about an economic divorce and you know how messy those can get.

Lights Camera NO Action! China's Film Freeze!

And hold on to your monocles because it gets worse! China's also hinting at reducing imports of U.S. films. This means no more Hollywood blockbusters for the masses in Beijing! And in what can only be described as a move of pure spite they're warning their citizens against traveling or studying in the U.S. It's like they're trying to create a cultural iron curtain darling. Utterly barbaric!

What's Next? World War III (The Economic Edition)?

So where does this leave us? Well analysts seem to think China will continue to use non tariff measures to squeeze Uncle Sam until he squeals. It's a high stakes game of economic chicken and I for one am utterly fascinated! While a deal may be on the horizon (or perhaps in another galaxy) it will all depend on who blinks first. Someone get me a martini and a front row seat!