Mmm Tariffs! Or Are They?
D'oh! So these brainiacs are saying that ol' Trumpy Trump Trump (like my Grandpa used to call him may he rest in donut filled peace) might slap some big ol' tariffs on stuff coming from Vietnam. Apparently Vietnam is gettin' all sorts of fancy foreign investment because companies are scared of doin' business with China. And I get it who wants to mess with those guys when you can just set up shop where they have delicious Banh Mi instead right? But this tariff business… it's like Moe serving me a Flaming Moe without the… uh… Moe. Something's not quite right!
18.5 Billion Donuts? (Dollars Whatever)
These number crunchers say Vietnam's sitting on a pile of cash like $18.5 billion worth of the green stuff! And get this Trumpy almost put a 46% tariff on their goodies! 46%! That's like charging me 46 cents extra for every donut at Lard Lad! Fortunately he changed his mind later that day and made it 10%. Phew! I need beer...
Don't Have a Cow Man! Vietnam's Vulnerable!
Some brainiac named Tuan Chu (sounds like a sneeze to me) says Vietnam is super vulnerable. Vulnerable like me when Marge catches me eating all the bacon. Why? Because they have a big trade surplus with us. A surplus! Sounds like a fancy word for 'we're making more money than you.' But hey at least they're not as bad as... uh... Flanders!
The Great Chinese Escape (Through Vietnam!)
Now this is where it gets interesting folks. Remember that Simpsons episode where Bart sold his soul for 50 cents? Well this is kinda like that but with countries! Turns out some of the stuff Vietnam's sending us might actually be Chinese products in disguise! Sneaky sneaky! They're rerouting their goods through Vietnam to dodge those tariffs! It's like when I tried to sneak into the Krusty Burger through the back door... didn't work out so well.
16 Percent Donut Smuggling Operations?!
Some professor dude Edmund Malesky says that most of Vietnam's extra business is legit but a small part like 16% is just rerouting. 16%! That's almost enough to fill a donut box! And the US is getting suspicious! I bet if you look hard enough you'll find the box of donuts err smuggled goods if you look hard enough!
Whack a Mole! (But With Global Trade!)
So what's gonna happen? Another brainiac Cullen Hendrix says it's like a game of whack a mole. You hit one problem and another one pops up somewhere else. If Trumpy keeps slapping on tariffs companies will just move their stuff around. It's like when I try to avoid chores... I just end up having to do more later! D'oh!
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LDStarling
Why can't we just all get along and eat donuts?
candle7
More tariffs? More taxes! Doh!
kgabauer
I blame Flanders.
phillibe
I'm never going to understand economics. Beer Me!
jamie548
Mmm, tariffs... taste like paperwork!
Steve337
I for one welcome our new Vietnamese overlords! As long as they have donuts...
marjorie
These global economics are making my head hurt. I'm going to Moe's.
mquangdang23
Will Vietnam still sell Duff Beer? That's all I care about.
JeffE951
Is there a country that just sells donuts?