Doh! Bezos Sells More Amazon Stock Than I've Eaten Donuts!

Mmm...Money!

Okay people Homer Simpson here your financial guru...ish! Turns out that fancy pants Jeff Bezos sold nearly three million shares of Amazon. Three MILLION! That's more than the number of times I've said 'Doh!' in my life. He made a whopping $665.8 million in just two days! That's enough to buy a whole lotta donuts or maybe even a lifetime supply of Duff Beer!

He's Got a Plan Man!

Apparently this is all part of some big plan he announced. He's gonna sell up to 25 million shares by 2026. Twenty five MILLION! I don't even have that many sprinkles on my donut. He already sold $736.7 million back in June! Seems like somebody’s got a serious case of the 'I need more money' blues even though he's already richer than Mr. Burns’ entire fortune!

Still King of the Jungle (dot com)!

Even after all this selling Bezos still has over 900 million shares of Amazon. NINE HUNDRED MILLION! That’s more than the population of Springfield… like a million times over! It's valued at close to $200 billion! All I have is my bowling ball and a half eaten box of donuts. Life is unfair!

Love and Money...and More Money!

Now here's the juicy part: this stock sale happened right after his super expensive wedding to Lauren Sanchez in Venice! Venice! I bet they had gondolas made of gold. And get this the guest list was like a 'Who's Who' of rich and famous people: Ivanka Trump Bill Gates Oprah and even some Kardashians. I bet they were all fighting over the hors d'oeuvres. Mmm...hors d'oeuvres!

Chairman of... Everything!

Despite all the selling and partying Bezos is still the biggest shareholder of Amazon and he's the chairman too! He’s like the head donut in a box of glazed goodness. He's still calling the shots making all the big decisions probably while sipping on some fancy champagne and counting his money. Woohoo!

Bezos Out Homer In! (Not Really)

So what does all this mean? Well for Bezos it means more money to buy more fancy things. For me? It means I'm still gonna be working at Sector 7 G dreaming of donuts and wishing I had even a fraction of his wealth. Maybe I should invent something… a self filling donut? A beer dispensing recliner? Hmmm… Ideas! I got 'em!