Mmm, Stocks! Homer's Guide to Wall Street Grub (and Maybe Not Screwing Up Your Savings)

Amazon: Prime Rib Investment Mmm!

Woohoo! Those fancy pants analysts at TD Cowen (whoever *they* are) say Amazon is gonna be bigger than my appetite for donuts! They raised the price to $250! That's like what 250 donuts? They expect Amazon to beat some 2Q25 thingy and give a solid 3Q25... thingy. All I know is if it means more delivery drones dropping off Duff Beer I'm in!

Netflix and Chill... With Your Investment Portfolio?

TD Cowen (again? These guys must really like their coffee) also thinks Netflix is a winner! They bumped it up to $1,440! Holy guacamole! They think Netflix is well positioned ahead of a monster 2H25 slate. I don't know about that but I sure do love watching Krusty the Clown on my couch. And if Netflix keeps making new episodes of Itchy & Scratchy I'll gladly give them my money. Doh! (But only if it's extra not my beer money.)

Shake Shack: Maybe Hold the Mayo... And the Stock

Uh oh looks like someone's diet is catching up. Loop downgraded Shake Shack! They say it's all about the valuation. Something about ~25x their 2025 EV\u002FEBITDA estimate. All I know is those burgers are good but maybe not *that* good. Sometimes you gotta say 'Marge I'm not gonna lie to you... it's bad for you.' Just like this stock maybe? Mmm maybe not. I'm hungry.

Tesla: 'Nuke the Whales?' More Like Fuel the Future!

Morgan Stanley (sounds like a fancy butler) is sticking with Tesla as a top pick! But they're worried about that Elon Musk fella and his... political priorities. I dunno about that but if it means we get more flying cars that can deliver donuts I'm all in! 'To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems!'

Goldman Sachs JPMorgan Bank of America: D'oh! The Big Boys Take a Tumble?

HSBC (sounds like a sneeze) downgraded Goldman Sachs JPMorgan and Bank of America! Said they're taking a more 'cautious stance' after the rally. Sounds scary! Maybe I should hide my money under the mattress with the spare donuts. Worst case scenario at least I'll have something to eat when the economy goes to pot.

Don't Have a Cow Man! It's Just Stocks!

So there you have it folks! A crash course in Wall Street Simpson style. Remember investing is like life: Sometimes you win sometimes you lose and sometimes you just end up covered in donut glaze. Just remember my motto: 'If something's hard to do then it's not worth doing.' But seriously do your own research. I'm just a guy who likes donuts and watching TV. D'oh!