Doh! Trump's Trade Tariffs Threaten Global Donut Supply at G7 Summit!

Mmm Canada!

Hey hey it's your favorite reporter Homer Simpson! They tell me all the big shots are gathering in Canada for the G7 summit. Sounds fancy like one of those places where they serve tiny sandwiches. But apparently it's all about trade wars and... uh... Ukraine? Is that near Krusty Burger? Anyway seems like everyone's wondering if President Trump is gonna play nice or if he's gonna pull a 'Doh!' on the global economy.

Tariffs: The Reason For All Evil

So get this Trump's got these things called 'tariffs.' Sounds like some kinda fancy dessert but they're actually taxes on stuff other countries sell us. He slapped 'em on steel and aluminum and now Canada's mad! They put tariffs on our stuff too! It's like when Bart steals my donut so I eat his ice cream. Pure anarchy! 'Stupid tariffs they’re ruining everything!'

Will There Be A Trade Deal Donut?

Word on the street (or maybe just the news on TV while I’m eating a donut) is that everyone's trying to make deals with Trump before July 9th. If they don't these tariffs are gonna come back like a vengeful ghost! It's all very complicated like trying to explain why I need a Duff Beer at 10 AM. But Trump seems confident. He says he can just send a letter saying 'Pay up!' Easy peasy lemon squeezy… unless you’re a lemon. Then it’s just squeezy.

No More Summit Souvenirs?

Normally after these summits they all write a joint statement saying how they're gonna save the world together. But Canada's skipping that this year! Probably 'cause last time Trump went he took back his support for the statement. It's like when I promise Marge I'll do the dishes and then conveniently forget. “I am not a bad guy! I work hard and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell?”

Ukraine and Other Scary Stuff

Apparently there's more to worry about than just tariffs. There's also this thing called Ukraine and the Middle East is having a bit of a tiff. Sounds like another excuse to eat a donut out of stress. It's like that time Springfield almost melted down! "Lisa if you don't like your job you don't strike! You just go in every day and do it really half assed. That's the American way."

Will Trump Act Like a Reality TV Star?

Some fancy analysts are saying Trump might treat this whole summit like a reality TV show. Which let's be honest sounds way more interesting than reading about trade deals. Hopefully there'll be less drama and more snacks. Fingers crossed there's a donut fountain. “Marge try and understand. I'm not trying to cause trouble. I just happen to have a butt that attracts trouble.”