Doh! Jerome Powell Says Risk It For The Donut! (And Success, I Guess)

Powell's Pow Wow: Advice From The Top (Of The Donut Box?)

Okay so this Jerome Powell guy who's like the big cheese at the Federal Reserve – not the kind you find on my nachos unfortunately – was talking to some smarty pants graduates at Princeton. He was yapping about mistakes and risks. Apparently he wants these eggheads to know that messing up is okay! Like when I accidentally launched that rocket trying to microwave a burrito. Whoops! He says if you're not failing you're not trying hard enough. Sounds like my job at the Nuclear Plant! Safety Inspector my gluteus maximus!

From Zero to (Economic) Hero!

Powell says nobody's ever ready for the big leagues. You gotta just jump in headfirst like when I dove into that vat of Duff beer. Mmm Duff. 'Go for it!' he says. 'Throw yourself into the deep end!' Easier said than done when you're afraid of monsters in the shallow end…and the deep end…and…well everywhere! He wants these college folk to believe in themselves. Which is hard when you got a brain like mine filled with cotton candy and… what was I saying? Oh yeah believing! Maybe I should believe I can eat that entire box of donuts. Hmm…

Initiative: The Rocket Fuel of…Life? Or Just My Car?

This Powell fella is all about initiative. He calls it 'the rocket fuel of life!' I thought that was gasoline but what do I know? Apparently he got ahead by just randomly introducing himself to some big shot. Like the time I tried to introduce myself to Mr. Burns by mooning him at the company picnic. Didn't quite work out the same way. 'A little bit of initiative at the right time can make all the difference,' he says. I took the initiative to eat all the donuts in the breakroom. Did that make a difference? Yes! Now everyone's mad at me D'oh!

Stairway to Heaven…Or Just Some Dude's Office?

So Powell tells a story about climbing some stairs to meet some senator dude. Because of that he ended up as the assistant to the Treasury Secretary. Stair climbing! Who knew? I usually take the elevator to avoid exercise. Unless there’s a donut shop on the top floor. Then I’m Usain Bolt! He says 'If I hadn't forced myself to walk up those stairs...I wouldn't be standing here today.' Well if I hadn’t eaten that donut I wouldn’t have to loosen my belt another notch. See? It all connects!

The Secret Sauce: Luck Courage and…A Donut?

Powell sums it all up: luck courage to make mistakes and a little initiative. Sounds like a recipe for success...or a really bad episode of Itchy & Scratchy. He even threw in a bit about friendships and marriage! All from taking risks! Huh. Maybe I should risk eating Marge's broccoli casserole. Nah! Not even for success. 'The combination of luck the courage to make mistakes and a little initiative can lead to much success.' Mmm success tastes like…victory donuts!

Mmm Donuts of Wisdom!

So the lesson here? Take risks make mistakes and don't be afraid to climb stairs...unless there's a perfectly good elevator or a donut shop somewhere else. And remember even the big shots mess up. Just ask me! I'm practically a professional at it. Now if you'll excuse me I hear the Krusty Burger is having a special on the Krusty Burger – and the Krusty Burger is people!