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Showing 1 to 10 of 136 news articles

Trump's tax cuts are gonna screw over poor people, but pharmaceutical companies might not feel it THAT much. Plus, AI startups are swimming in cash. Sweet! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Cutting Medicaid and Getting Rich!

Tue 08 July, 2025 14:41
2 minutes to read

Eric Cartman reports on how Trump's latest tariff tantrums are making the stock market cry like a bunch of little Butters, potentially leading to stagflation and ruining everything! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Tanking the Stock Market: Cartman's Take on Trump's Tariffs

Mon 07 July, 2025 20:01
2 minutes to read

That stupid Elon Musk is trying to be all political again, and now everyone's losing their freakin' money. Respect my Authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Starting a Political Party (and Tesla's Stock is Tanking!)

Mon 07 July, 2025 20:05
2 minutes to read

Experts are squawking about private credit being the next big financial disaster, but some dudes are saying it's not as bad as everyone thinks. Either way, respect my authoritah! image

Aw, Crap! Private Credit's Gonna Screw Us All Like the Woodland Critters!

Mon 07 July, 2025 03:43
3 minutes to read

Eric Cartman reports on the rise of private credit, potential financial Armageddon, and why you should respect his authoritah! image

AWESOME! Private Credit's Making Me Rich (and Might Crash the Whole Damn System)

Mon 07 July, 2025 03:43
2 minutes to read

Eric Cartman reluctantly reports on toxic foods to avoid feeding your kids, because apparently, you can't conquer the world with a clogged artery. image

Screw You Guys, I'm Eating Healthy! Cartman's Guide to NOT Dying Before I Take Over the World!

Fri 04 July, 2025 19:36
3 minutes to read

Investors are bracing for tariff deadlines, but I, Eric Cartman, plan to cash in anyway. Even if it means the economy goes to hell. image

Screw You Guys, I'm Getting Rich! Trump's Tariff Shenanigans and My Stock Portfolio

Thu 03 July, 2025 17:30
2 minutes to read

Chinese companies are flooding Hong Kong's stock market, leading to a massive IPO boom and leaving everyone else in the dust. Respect my Authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Getting Rich! Hong Kong's IPO Market is Back, Baby!

Thu 03 July, 2025 01:57
3 minutes to read

The US and EU are bickering over trade, threatening tariffs and potentially messing with my access to Canadian bacon. This is NOT cool! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Getting My Tariffs! Trump's Trade War is Messing with My Wii!

Wed 02 July, 2025 12:36
3 minutes to read

Cartman reports on how ZymoChem is making biodegradable diaper goo, so babies can poop green! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Saving the Planet (From Diapers!)

Tue 01 July, 2025 20:06
2 minutes to read