Screw You Guys, I'm Not Buying Anything! China's Economy is Lame!

Respect My Authority! China's Wallet is Closed!

Goddammit! China's acting like a bunch of Butters all scared and not spending their money. Apparently they're worried about their future wealth or whatever. And they don't have no social safety net. What is that even supposed to mean? It's been like four months of prices going down but who cares? I want prices to go DOWN so I can buy more freakin' toys! But no these Chinese people are all hoarding their money like a bunch of Kyle's with their mom's credit card.

Stupid Pandemic Messing Everything Up!

Since 2020 which is when that stupid pandemic hit incomes in China have slowed down faster than Kenny trying to run away from Chef. Some financial dude Jeremy Stevens said income is only growing by like 5% a year. That's slower than Butters trying to do a freakin' cartwheel. And get this only a few jobs are actually paying people more. Mining utilities and IT services. Who cares about that crap? I want to see more Cheesy Poof factories!

Young People Can't Get Jobs Blame Canada!

The unemployment rate for young people – the ones not in school probably playing video games all day like Kyle – is super high. Like 15.8%! And everyone else is worried about their jobs too. They're all saving money like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the winter. This is worse than the time my mom wouldn't buy me a new video game console. It's not fair!

Saving Money is for Jews!

A record number of Chinese people – like 64% would rather save money than buy anything. What the hell is wrong with these people? Don't they know that buying stuff is what makes the world go 'round? When they DO spend money it's on education health care and tourism. What about Cheesy Poofs? What about Casa Bonita? This is a national crisis!

They Need More Holidays and Cash Dude!

Some smart guy Luo Zhiheng says they need to give people more money. Like double their pension payouts. And give them more holidays so they can go buy more stuff. They should also give out those special coupons – vouchers – so people buy services or something. Whatever. It's better than doing nothing I guess. But they ain't giving out cash like they did in America and Hong Kong. Those cheapskates!

Screw Rational Consumers Buy My Stuff!

Apparently these Chinese consumers used to buy anything even if it was crap. But now they're being all 'rational.' What does that even mean? They know what they want. Well I know what *I* want! I want them to buy more freakin' Cheesy Poofs and stop being such tightwads. Oh and people are moving out of the big cities because they're too expensive. What are they hippies? Get back to the city and buy my freakin' stuff! This is all South Park's fault somehow I just know it!