Screw You Guys, I'm Going to War! India and Pakistan Throwing Down!

Respect My Authoritah! India Gets Serious

Okay so listen up you guys! India those guys who aren't cool enough to be Canadian just totally went and attacked Pakistan! They're all like 'We're taking out terrorist infrastructure!' Which is what I would do if I was president because terrorists are the biggest Butters of all time! They're like Scott Baio and they make me wanna sing Dominique! Apparently some terrorists attacked Jammu and Kashmir and India got all pissed. Good for them! Screw you guys I'm going to war!

Operation Sindoor: Sounds Kinda Gay!

Seriously who names a military operation 'Sindoor'? It's like naming a tank 'Mr. Snuggles'! Sindoor for those of you who aren't total nerds and actually go outside is some red powder Indian ladies wear. What does that have to do with blowing up terrorists? I dunno but it sounds kinda gay. Maybe they should have called it 'Operation Kick Ass' instead. Way more badass if you ask me.

Pakistan's All Like 'Wah Wah I'm Gonna Tell Mom!'

So naturally Pakistan is all crying about it. Prime Minister Shebaz Sharif or whatever his name is is saying they're gonna retaliate. Boo freakin' hoo! If you can't handle the heat get out of the kitchen you Butters! They're all like 'India started it!' Well maybe you shouldn't have been harboring terrorists in the first place dumbasses! Now they're shooting missiles and everyone's having a bad time!

Trump Chimes In: 'It's a Shame'

Of course that douchebag Trump had to get involved. He's all 'It's a shame.' Yeah it's a shame you're still talking fatass! He said people knew something was going to happen. Well duh! Everyone knows those two countries have been fighting longer than Kenny's been dying! Maybe if Trump would just shut his pie hole things would be better! But nooooo he has to stick his nose in everything like Wendy Testaburger and her stupid causes!

The UN: 'Can't We All Just Get Along?'

And then there's the United Nations being all lame and saying 'A military solution is no solution.' Oh really Captain Obvious? Tell that to the terrorists! Sometimes you just gotta kick some ass and show people who's boss. The UN is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine! They should just stick to sending blankets and leave the real decisions to people with balls like me!

What Does This Mean For Me?

Well obviously this means the world is gonna be even more screwed up than it already is. But hey maybe we'll get a sweet new war movie out of it. As long as I get to play the hero I'm cool with it. And if things get really bad I'm moving to Canada. Those Canadians are so nice they won't let anything bad happen there. Plus they have free healthcare! Respect my Authoritah!