Screw You Boeing, Airbus Rules the Freakin' Sky!

Respect My Authoritah! (And Airbus's Order Book)

Alright listen up you guys! It's Eric Cartman here reporting live from my freakin' Mom's basement. But that doesn't mean I don't know what's going on in the world especially when it involves sweet sweet money. And right now Airbus is rolling in it! They’re making more money than I do selling Token's old toys (which by the way are still available). While Boeing is sucking their thumbs in the corner Airbus is racking up orders like I rack up Butters' tears. I'm talking billions of dollars you guys! Billions! It's like Christmas but instead of presents it's just giant metal birds that fly through the sky.

Boeing: More Like Booo ing! (Losers)

Seriously what's with Boeing? They're quieter than Kenny at a funeral. Apparently they had some… *cough*… 'issues' with their planes lately. Something about doors flying off mid air and the Dreamliner turnin' into a freaking nightmare. Serves them right for not listening to me! If I was in charge I'd make sure those planes were built with solid gold rivets and guarded by ninjas. But noooo they had to cut corners and now they're paying the price. Good. Maybe they should try selling cookies instead. They'd probably screw that up too.

Airbus: The Coolest Kid at the Air Show

Airbus is the only one doing something right. All these deals with VietJet and EgyptAir and Starlux? It's like they're collecting Pokémon cards but instead of Pikachu it's A321neos and A350s. And Tony Fernandes from Air Asia? He's talking about buying even MORE Airbus planes! This is better than the time I convinced everyone I was a ghost whisperer! Seriously Airbus is playing the game and they're playing it damn well. Butters would be jealous.

Screw You Guys I'm Going Into Aviation!

All this talk about planes makes me want to start my own airline. 'Cartman Air,' or maybe 'Respect My Authoritah Airways!' We'll have solid gold toilets free Chef's chocolate salty balls for everyone and I'll personally make sure no doors fall off. And anyone who complains gets a swift kick in the nards. That's how you run a successful business you guys! I'll be richer than Kyle's freakin' cousin and that's saying something!

Demand is Strong... For Planes That Don't Fall Apart

Apparently even though Boeing is a total disaster people still want planes. Go figure! This 'expert' guy John Plueger says everyone is sold out until 2032. That's a long time! Guess people are tired of taking the bus. But I'm telling you they better make sure those planes are safe. I don't want to end up like Kenny on a freakin' airplane. That's just not cool you guys.

War and Planes: A Match Made in South Park

And get this the article also talks about war! Something about Russia Ukraine and NATO. It's like a freakin' Call of Duty game come to life! And guess what? War means more money for the defense industry! Thales is building artillery systems which is awesome. As long as they don't start blowing up South Park I'm cool with it. But if they do I'm gonna be super pissed!