Trump's 'Big, Beautiful' Megabill: A Triumph of Evil, or Just Ridiculously Expensive?

The Midnight Hour of Power!

People people! Your favorite evil genius here Dr. Evil reporting LIVE from my volcano lair! It appears that Donald… I mean *President* Trump (shudders) has pulled off a *major* coup! His so called 'megabill' is inching its way to becoming law! I must say the sheer audacity of it all! It's practically Bond villain esque! You know if Bond villains were obsessed with… tax cuts.

A Squeaker of a Victory: Closer than Mini Me to My Heart!

The vote was tighter than Austin Powers' velvet pants after a buffet. Can you believe it? A nail biter! A cliffhanger! It reminds me of the time Number Two almost unionized my henchmen. Disaster averted just like this bill almost didn't pass! Only one Republican a moderate from Pennsylvania – probably a secret Austin Powers fan – dared to vote against it. The nerve!

Trump Works the Phones: A Modern Day Blofeld!

Apparently Trump spent the night on the phone twisting arms and making deals like a used car salesman… or dare I say *myself* trying to get a better price on my laser shark tank. He was so frustrated that he took to social media typing in all caps. That's when you know things are getting serious. He was practically yelling at his own party! 'Ridiculous!' he exclaimed. I would've gone with something more menacing like 'I will unleash the Kraken!' but to each their own.

Tax Cuts for the Rich? Groovy!

Ah the sweet sweet smell of inequality! This bill promises a windfall for the top 1%. I'm talking an extra $300,000 a year! That's enough to build a *small* laser or maybe buy a slightly used moon base. Meanwhile millions of Americans could lose their health insurance. It's the perfect recipe for… total world domination! (Or at least a slightly larger share of the global economy. Baby steps!)

Debt Debt and More Debt! Yeah Baby!

The Congressional Budget Office is whining about how this bill could add $3.4 trillion to the national debt over the next decade. $3.4 TRILLION! That's almost enough to buy a Death Star… or at least a really really nice volcano lair with a jacuzzi. But who cares about debt when you can have tax cuts? It's all about priorities people! Evil priorities!

Reciprocal Tariffs: A Trade War? Excellent!

And as if that wasn't enough Trump is threatening to bring back 'reciprocal' tariffs. A trade war! This is getting better and better. The chaos! The uncertainty! The potential for *massive* profits for those who know how to play the game! This is the kind of economic instability that makes an evil genius like myself positively giddy!