One Million Dollars... For What?!
Mwahahaha! So Trumpy poo decides to slap Cambodia with a 49% tariff! A 49% tariff! Are you kidding me? I was going to use Cambodia as a key piece in my totally legitimate definitely not evil global supply chain! Now where am I going to get my henchmen uniforms at a reasonable price? This is outrageous! Utterly outrageous! It's like charging me one million dollars… for a pinky finger! Get it?
They Can't Handle the Truth!
These so called 'experts' (cough cough losers) are saying Cambodia can't handle the heat from these tariffs. Of course they can't! They're a tiny insignificant… manufacturing hub! But guess what? That's precisely why *I* wanted them! Cheap labor is the cornerstone of any successful evil empire! And frankly the truth hurts. Sometimes you need to threaten a small country with economic collapse to get what you want. Is that so wrong?
Alternatives? Please I Invented Alternatives!
Apparently these companies are thinking of moving their sweatshops—er I mean *manufacturing plants*—to Egypt or sub Saharan Africa. Egypt? Please! That's where the Sphinx lives! And sub Saharan Africa? How am I supposed to get my dry cleaning done there? I need a reliable dry cleaner to preserve my Nehru jackets! I'll stick to my own alternatives: Moon base underwater lair… the usual.
Paused Orders? Good Less Competition For Me!
Ah it seems uncertainty has gripped the markets. Orders are being paused. Excellent! This gives me time to consolidate my plans! While these nincompoops are dithering I'll be perfecting my laser beams and training my genetically modified sea bass. The world will be mine! Mwahahaha!
Tax Credits?! How About Zero?!
Cambodia is trying to mitigate the tariff pressure with... tax credits? Tax credits! How about they credit me with a controlling stake in their entire economy? Honestly these guys are amateurs. They should be offering me cold hard cash. Or maybe a lifetime supply of mini donuts. Those are always good.
Sharks With Frickin' Laser Beams Attached to Their Heads!
The article mentions a 'pause' in executive decision making. Perfect! While everyone's waiting for the dust to settle I'll be unleashing my latest weapon! No not a death ray. Not a giant robot. Sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Mwahahaha! Soon the world will see the true power of Doctor Evil... and my slightly singed sharks! And I will use these tariffs to my advantage to gain a global monopoly on these laser sharks.
tariffs Cambodia manufacturing trade war Donald Trump Doctor Evil global domination supply chain reshoring American consumer
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preistpower
I blame the hippies!
betmd
This is why we can't have nice things!
easywin
Mini-Me says tariffs are bad!
masbeken
Austin Powers would never let this happen!
ladybughugs
This trade war is giving me a raging clue!
cmjmom
Where am I going to buy affordable evil henchman uniforms now?
rellik1
I'm with Dr. Evil on this one! Tariffs are ruining my plans for world domination!
hotpicks
Dr. Evil for President! He'd know what to do!
letsparty
Maybe we should just nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
redmonkey175
This is worse than the time I lost my Mojo!