Boeing and Airbus Delivery Delays! I Blame Austin Powers!

Curse you Boeing and Airbus!

Mwahahaha! It is I Doctor Evil reporting live from my volcano lair. It seems those imbeciles at Boeing and Airbus are causing quite the kerfuffle! They can't deliver their planes on time! One MILLION dollars that I invested! Now EasyJet is crying about only being able to increase capacity by a measly 1 3%. One per cent! What am I supposed to do with ONE per cent? Demand is up but airlines have no supply...it's outrageous egregious preposterous!

EasyJet's 'Losing' Money?!

So EasyJet lost £394 million. To quote a young me 'throw me a frickin' bone here!' They're whining that the 'full year profit' is still expected but investors are not happy and stock prices are down 4%. Four per cent. Why not five eh? Why not seize the other one per cent? I want that extra one per cent! I'm evil!

Longer Stays and Bigger Budgets...Groovy!

The European Travel Commission says people are planning longer stays and higher budget vacations. Finally some good news! Maybe I'll build a smaller volcano lair in Spain...or maybe the Netherlands? Imagine the henchmen parties! Mini Me loves a good stroopwafel!

Is Boeing Finally Getting Their Act Together?

Boeing says their deliveries are up...almost double what they delivered last year. Double! It's all about world domination! But honestly they've had so many 'crises' and 'production problems' lately that it's hard to believe. They've been trying to cover it up with big launches but all this secrecy just make people mad. Why don't they just offer everyone a free muffin or something?

Ryanair to the Rescue?!

Even Ryanair's CEO Michael O'Leary said Boeing has "improved significantly." The last five deliveries were even early! Five. A significant number. But don't think for a second that I'm impressed. This is a big deal! This is what I'm talking about! But oil prices are declining. I might have to revisit my plans to corner the global oil market. Foiled again!

It's All Austin Powers' Fault I Tell You!

This capacity crisis these delivery delays these minor setbacks...it all leads back to one person: Austin Powers. If he hadn't frozen me in the '60s I'd have already dominated the travel industry! My evil airline 'EvilJet,' would have had perfect on time performance. Curse you Austin Powers! Curse you and your mojo! Prepare to face my wrath!