Big Tech considers fossil fuels to power their AI overlords, proving even they can't resist the allure of good ol' fashioned environmental destruction! Prepare for global warming, muhahaha!
Big Tech considers fossil fuels to power their AI overlords, proving even they can't resist the allure of good ol' fashioned environmental destruction! Prepare for global warming, muhahaha!

One Million Barrels!

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! It's Doctor Evil reporting LIVE from my volcano lair! Apparently those goody two shoes at Amazon and Nvidia are thinking about using…wait for it…FOSSIL FUELS to power their AI thingamajigs! Yes! After all those years of pretending to care about the environment they're finally embracing my way of thinking! One million barrels!

Renewable Energy? How About Unrenewable Evil!

These tech giants they've been sipping the renewable energy Kool Aid trying to save the planet. But Daddy needs his AI! And apparently Daddy's going to get it with a little help from my friend… natural gas! Muhahaha! They say they're still focused on being all net zero by 2040 but let's be honest that's just a pinky swear. I give it… ONE YEAR before we are back to destroying the Earth!

Power! Unlimited Power!

Nvidia that's those guys making the computer chips of doom apparently they just need "power period!" I can relate. I too require lots of power! To power my laser beams my doomsday devices and my extremely fashionable yet evil outfits! And the best way to get power especially if you're behind schedule like these guys is good ole fossil fuels.

50 Nuclear Reactors? I Like Those Odds!

Anthropic whoever they are are saying we need 50 gigawatts by 2027. That's like 50 nuclear reactors! I love it! More power plants equals more opportunities for me to take over the world! I've always wanted a nuclear reactor...to hold the sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!

Coal? Maybe...But Natural Gas is Still Hot!

Now even I have my limits. Coal is SO last century but natural gas? Now you're talking! It's practically the gateway drug to… wait for it… complete environmental devastation! Trump is singing it's praises and these tech executives are turning their noses up to it... But the reality is... They need it.

Sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams...Powered by Natural Gas!

So the moral of the story is even the most well meaning tech companies will eventually succumb to the allure of fossil fuels. It's just too easy too convenient and too… evil! Mwah ha ha! Now if you excuse me I've got some sharks to arm with frickin' laser beams powered by natural gas... the future is now!


Comments