Dow Hits 40,000! Is Nice!
Jagshemash! Borat here reporting live from the capitalist paradise of... well I not sure but they have many tall buildings! The Dow Jones it reach 40,000! Like when I find twenty tenge note in my pocket – very nice! S&P 500 and Nasdaq also dance the happy dance up more than 2%! High five!
Tech is King! Like Me in My Village!
Alphabet (the daddy of Google and YouTube) show off strong growth. Like when I show Pamela Anderson my…never mind! People still like Google even with new robot brains trying to steal their wives. Intel also make good money but… uh oh! Danger! Danger!
Tariff Man Make Recession Kazoo Sound!
Intel big boss David Zinsner say tariff and angry face from other countries make recession more likely! Like when I try to milk cow and she kick me in… well you get picture! Trump's tariff make everyone nervous like when I try to wear Western suit. Not fit right!
He Say She Say – But With More Money!
Trump say he talk to China. China say "No talk! You lie!" It like my neighbor say he not steal my chicken but I see feathers on his breath! This make market shake like Shakira booty! Very confused!
South Korea Want Calm Talk – Like When I Talk to My Wife (Almost Never Calm)!
South Korea say "Please America no tariff! We talk nice like when I try to explain to my neighbor why he cannot borrow my goat for… reasons." They want deal by July to avoid getting tariffed in the bum bum!
Mag 7 No So Mighty? Is Sad!
The big tech companies not so powerful now. The ETF for them is down 17 percent! Like when I try to impress girls with picture of me wrestling bear but they laugh and run away. Is not easy being tech king anymore!
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rich0205
Is recession coming? My goat is not doing so good
tampoe
I wish I had Google money.
dimkachum1
China always lying!
wingsgirl10
Tariffs are a pain in my az!
thewookieempire
Chenqui!
samantharucko86
Is nice!
xiaoJ7
Tech is the future! Even in Kazakhstan!