Jagshemash! European Banks Making Big Money, Very Nice!

Wah Wah Wee Wah! Banks Doing Great!

Jagshemash my name is Borat! I bring you news from glorious Europe where banks are making more money than I see teeth in a Kentucky family reunion! The Stoxx 600 Banks index – very important name like my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay – has gone up more than 28%! This is bigger than my sister's… well you understand. Is like winning Eurovision but with money! High five!

Deutsche Bank and Barclays: Very Nice!

Deutsche Bank and Barclays they are doing so well is like Pamela Anderson visiting Kazakhstan! Everyone is excited! They made strong returns even with all the market… how you say… 'shakiness'. Very impressive! They are weathering the storms like I weather my wife's cooking – with a strong stomach and a smile!

M&A! Make Acquire!

In Southern Europe the banks are making deal deal deal! M&A like when I try to 'Make Acquire' a beautiful woman in New York! Volumes are recovering and Spain is 'stabilizing'. Intesa Sanpaolo is saying they're seeing a 'substantial increase'. Is like Kazakhstan suddenly discovering oil – everyone wants a piece!

Cost Cutting: Is Like Taking Hair From My Back!

The banks are also cutting costs like I cut my toenails with a rusty knife! HSBC Santander UBS Societe Generale Deutsche Bank they are all revamping! This is very smart. They are focusing on structured financial products and trading. Is like learning to milk a cow – complicated but worth the effort!

Interest Rates: From Ultra Low to 'Meh'!

For many years interest rates were lower than my IQ. Now they are going up and the banks are making much profit! But now they are going down again! Is like a seesaw of sadness! But some analysts say the investors didn't believe in structural change...whatever that mean.

The Future: Maybe Not So Sunny!

But alas my friends the party may be ending. Some expert man Johann Scholtz he is saying that banks are becoming 'fully valued'. He is worrying that the banks might not make even more money! He's afraid banks will be in Default! Is like being afraid of my neighbor's chickens – annoying but probably not dangerous. Chenqui!