Jagshemash! European Banks Making More Money Than Borat at a Kazak Wedding!

Very Nice! Banks are Swimming in the Tengri

Jagshemash my name is Borat and I bring you good news! European banks are making so much money it's like finding a bag of diamonds in a gypsy's pocket! The Stoxx 600 Banks index which I think is like a very fancy horse race for banks has gone up more than 28% this year! That's more than I made selling pictures of Pamela Anderson to my village. Very nice!

High Five! Deutsche Bank and Barclays Doing the Sexy Dance of Profit

Deutsche Bank and Barclays they are like the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee of banking – hot and profitable! They have been doing very well even with all the confusion in the market. In Southern Europe they are all doing M&A deals like crazy! M&A is like when two goats get married – a lot of excitement and hopefully more little goats!

Cost Cutting Like a Kazakhstani Butcher

These banks they are cutting costs like I cut the hair of my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay. HSBC Santander UBS – they are all doing it! And they are focusing on fancy things like 'structured financial products.' It's like putting lipstick on a pig but if the pig was made of money! Also they boosted profits because the central banks finally raised interest rates. High five!

Commerzbank is the Number One Choice!

Commerzbank and Societe Generale they are like my wife they both have the best performance of the year. Commerzbank is so desirable that UniCredit wanted to marry it! But now UniCredit says Commerzbank is too expensive. Is like when I tried to buy a used Lada for more than it's worth. Not a wise investment!

Mergers Galore: Banks Hunt for More

Everyone wants to get bigger! Santander wants to buy TSB and Sabadell is fighting off BBVA like I fight off bears in my village. There are a lot of deals happening it's like a big Kazak wedding with everyone trying to get a piece of the cake!

Is Niiiiice But Maybe Not Forever?

But some very smart people are saying that maybe this party is ending soon. They think banks might not make as much money in the future. Is like when I run out of horse urine for my village's healing ceremony – very sad! One smart man Scholtz he says the banks might be fully valued now. So maybe it's time to sell your shares and buy a nice goat. Chenqui!