Jagshemash My Fellow Travelers! Earthquake Very Nice?
Chenqui! Borat Sagdiyev here reporting live from… well not Thailand but my mind is there! The Thai people they are planning their big water festival Songkran! Very nice! They hope to make much money like when I sell my sister for four chickens and a ???????. But uh oh! Earthquake! Like when I try to hug Pamela Anderson but nature say 'NO!'
Building Fall Down! Is Thailand Safe Like My Village?
Earthquake make building go boom near the Chatuchak market which is like our Kazakhstan market but with less… livestock. People scared! They think Thailand architecture is like my house – made of sticks and hope. But Thailand officials say 'No problem! Buildings strong like horse!' They check everything like when I check my mustache for parasites. Is safe they say! But some hotels are worried like when I wear my bathing suit on California beach!
Money Money Money! Is Better Than Woman Maybe?
Thailand wants to make 763 million American dollars! That is more than I have ever seen even after selling my goat! They hope tourists come and throw water buy trinkets and say 'Wa wa wee wa!' like they are at Eurovision. They think 476,000 foreigners will come. Very nice! Maybe I go too and try to sell my documentary about US and A!
Chinese Tourists Run Away! Like Chickens!
Uh oh! Some Chinese tourists they see building fall and they say 'Nyet!' They cancel trips! Like when I try to kiss a man in New York. They worry about safety. Hotel people they cry! 'Our income it is die!' they say. But Thailand say 'No problem! We have inspections! We have engineers!' They try to make everyone feel good like when I tell my neighbor his teeth are beautiful.
Officials Say 'Relax!' Like Massage in Bangkok!
Thailand officials they say 'Thailand is safe! Like petting a domesticated bear!' They inspect buildings they give assurances they probably give massages too. The hotel people they send emails: 'Our building is strong like bull! Don't worry!' One hotel even update website with safety information! Very transparent like my… never mind.
The White Lotus and Gay Marriage! Boobs and Tourism!
But Thailand is not finished! They have 'The White Lotus' TV show which is like soft core pornography for rich people and they have legal same sex marriage! Very nice! Now many gay couples come to Thailand for wedding! Tourism will be big like my… (censored by Kazakh government). Maybe this make up for earthquake problem. Chenqui!
Thailand tourism Songkran earthquake revenue White Lotus same-sex marriage Chinese tourists safety Bangkok
Comments
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corndoom
Is Pamala Anderson in Thailand?
firemanslady
I go to Thailand, find a wife!
ghostcyrus
Thailand number one exporter of potassium!
preistpower
Wa wa wee wa!
iuriakgnez
Is this article written by Borat? Very nice!
LilyOak
I am disappoint!
Lorelei23
Why not?
triagetech
This is great success!
manersel
This article make me laugh like hyena!
fbenefiel
Borat is genius!