Jagshemash! What is Going On Here?
Greetings comrades! Borat Sagdiyev here reporting live from... well not live because that is dangerous. I am writing about the very big problem between India and Pakistan. They are fighting again like cats and dogs only with more explosions and less sexy time. India is saying Pakistan bad Pakistan is saying India bad. It is very confusing even for me and I once tried to understand American politics! Very difficult!
Drone Strikes: Is This New Olympic Sport?
India in a move that is either very brave or very stupid fired drones into Pakistan. Pakistan says they shot down many like skeet shooting but with more danger. India says they 'neutralized' Pakistan's air defenses. Neutralized! Like when I neutralize my neighbor's cow after it eats my potatoes. Very effective! But Pakistan says India killed innocent peoples with these drone attacks and this is not good. Is not nice!
Kashmir: The Land of Disagreement
Kashmir! Ah yes this is the place where India and Pakistan like to argue. They both want it like I want Pamela Anderson. But instead of flowers and chocolates they give each other bombs and bullets. Pakistan says India killed 31 civilians with missiles. India says Pakistan is behind the attack on Hindu tourists. It is like a very bad comedy but nobody is laughing except maybe the weapons dealers. They are saying 'Very Nice!'
Shebaz Sharif Very Angry!
Pakistan's Prime Minister Shebaz Sharif is very very angry. He is promising to avenge the deaths caused by India's missile strikes. He is talking about revenge like when I tried to get revenge on my neighbor for stealing my wife but then I realized she left me for a better man. Anyway Sharif is saying there will be a response. Oh Aziz!
Evacuations: Run Away! Run Away!
Because of all the fighting thousands of peoples are running away from their homes. They are sleeping in shelters like refugees in a movie. One man said he is leaving his home for the safety of his children and wife. Very sad! This is not a good situation. Maybe they should try diplomacy? Or maybe a nice cup of chai? But probably not.
Blackout and Flights Suspended: Very Bad!
India ordered a blackout in some areas near the border. This means no lights at night like a big game of hide and seek but with deadly consequences. Flights are also suspended which means no one is going anywhere. Maybe they should all come to Kazakhstan? We have plenty of room! And very nice horses!
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mmailley
More and more reasons to move to Kazakhstan...
smithsc5
Who is funding these wars? Follow the money!
Lebaium
My potato farm is more peaceful than this situation.
samara_shaz@hotmail.com
Diplomacy is always the best option, but some people are very stupid.
jaffa
Another armed conflict in the news, its time for leaders to resolve this
letsparty
Why can't they just be friends? It's not that difficult!