HONDA IS IN VERY GREAT PROBLEM! Tariff Man Make Honda Cry Like Baby!

Wa Wa Wee Wa! Honda's Money Machine Go Kaput!

Jagshemash world! Borat Sagdiyev here bringing you the latest news from the capitalist world! It seems my friend Honda the Japanese car company is having a VERY BAD time! Their profits have fallen more than my sister's reputation after the annual Running of the Jew! The operating profit it plummeted! Like when I try to impress Pamela Anderson but instead fall into a ditch full of pig manure!

Tariff Man Strikes Again! Is Big Problem!

The reason for this disaster? Ah it's all thanks to the Tariff Man in America! He puts big taxes on cars like putting a tax on my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay's goat! Honda says these tariffs are making it difficult for them to make money. It's like trying to sell fermented horse urine at a wine tasting – very difficult!

Honda Run Away From Mexico! To Indiana! Very Nice!

To avoid Tariff Man's wrath Honda is moving its car factory from Mexico to Indiana! Smart move! Indiana is very nice! I once saw a cow there! Very exciting! But still even with this move Honda is predicting even MORE problems ahead. Their future profits are looking worse than my attempt to wear a suit!

Money Money Money! Or Lack Of It!

The numbers are very grim! Operating profit expected to fall almost 59%! Net profit? Down by a HUGE amount like when I accidentally insulted the entire nation of Uzbekistan at a dinner party! Revenue is also expected to take a big hit. It's like the economy is driving off a cliff in a Lada!

No Merger for You! Honda and Nissan Say "Nyet!"

Remember when Honda and Nissan were going to become best friends and make a super car company? Well they said 'CHENQUIE' to that idea! The $60 billion deal is off! Maybe they realized that two wrongs don't make a right just like two ugly cousins don't make a beauty pageant!

Is Nize! Honda Still Give Small Amount Money

But don't worry Honda shareholders! Honda is still giving out a small amount money like when I give my neighbor a goat for his daughter's hand in marriage! It's only a little bit more than before but it's still something! Maybe they can use the money to buy some new tracksuits. Very fashionable!