CHINESE AND AMERICANS TALK! Maybe Friends? Or Still Like Wrestling Bear?

Great Success! Maybe...

Jagshemash! Borat Sagdiyev here reporting live from... well not live. I am writing this. Very important news from world of big countries! The Americans and the Chinese they have talking on telephone! Like when I call my cousin Bilo to ask if he has seen my stolen tractor. Very nice!

What They Say Very Mysterious

The Chinese say their Vice Foreign Minister Ma Zhaoxu (sounds like good horse name!) talk with American Deputy Secretary Christopher Landau. They talk about... things. Very important things! The Chinese ministry put out the paper very short. Like my patience when I try to milk cow and she kick me in the face. The Americans also say same thing: they talk they agree to talk more. Is agreement to agree! Very good! Just like when I agree to let my neighbor borrow my shovel then I sneak in his house and steal his goat.

But Wait! Still Fighting Like Cats in Bag!

But the good news it is like smelling flowers in outhouse. Still stinky. The Americans and Chinese they still throwing insults like they throwing potatoes at wedding! The Americans say Chinese AI chips especially from Huawei (sounds like sneezing!) are no good. Like saying my wife's cooking is no good – big trouble! The Chinese very angry! They say this is "unilateral bullying." Bullying! Like when I bully my neighbor into giving me his daughter's hand in marriage. Very wrong but sometimes necessary!

Trade Wars! Very Exciting Very Confusing!

This all happen after they have meeting in Switzerland. Switzerland! Land of chocolate and clocks. They agree to lower the tariffs. Tariffs! Sounds like terrible disease! But they still fighting. Is like agreeing to share hummus then spitting in it. What is point?

Correction! Borat Make Mistake! Is Very Shameful!

Ah I must apologize! Like when I accidentally insult whole nation of Uzbekistan. The article it say the American who talk is Christopher Landau. Not someone else. I fix it now. Is important to get facts right! Even if I am mostly making up things for humor.

High Five! Maybe Not...

So the Americans and the Chinese they talk. They fight. They agree to talk more. Is like marriage! Sometimes good sometimes terrible. I hope they can be friends. Or at least stop wrestling each other like bears. High five! ...Wait maybe not. I don't want to catch American germs.