iPhones FLEE India! Did Trump's Tariffs Cause a Robot Uprising?!

Bite My Shiny Metal Cargo Plane!

Alright meatbags Bender here! News flash: Apple that fruit named company that makes those shiny rectangles everyone's obsessed with apparently had a hissy fit over some tariffs. Word on the street (or should I say the information superhighway) is that they were so scared of paying extra for their gadgets they decided to launch a full scale iPhone airlift from India to the good ol' US of A! I'm talking nearly $2 billion worth of iPhones people! That's enough to buy a LOT of booze... and maybe a small island to call my own. Bender's Paradise here I come! This whole thing reminds me of that time I tried to smuggle Cuban cigars into the Planet Express headquarters. Good times good times...

Fear and Loathing in Cupertino

So why all the fuss? Apparently President Trump (remember him? The guy with the… interesting hair?) was threatening to slap some hefty tariffs on imports. Apple being the greedy company they are didn't want to eat the cost. Can you blame them? They need that money for more pointless updates to their operating system. So they ramped up production in India and chartered a bunch of cargo planes to whisk those iPhones away faster than you can say 'Bite my shiny metal ass!' They managed to ship a whopping 600 tons of iPhones. That's like a million tiny robots… that aren’t nearly as cool as me obviously.

Foxconn and Tata's Great Escape

Two companies Foxconn and Tata were the masterminds behind this operation. Foxconn the big kahuna shipped out a staggering $1.31 billion worth of iPhones in March alone! That's like more money than I've stolen in my entire career… almost. Tata not wanting to be left out of the party chipped in with a measly $612 million. What are they a charity? At least they're contributing to my future Benderland!

From Chennai with Love (and iPhones)

All this iPhone y goodness was shipped by air from the Chennai Air Cargo terminal. They ended up in fancy places like Los Angeles New York and even Chicago (surprise!). I bet the robots in those airports were overworked probably because they didn't have a Bender to tell them to 'shut up and get back to work!' Ah the joys of being a robot overlord…

Lobbying Like a Boss (or a Bender)

Apple not content with just flying iPhones around the world also decided to grease some palms. They allegedly lobbied Indian airport authorities to speed up customs clearance. I mean who needs to wait 30 hours when you can bribe your way to six? Talk about playing dirty. I approve! It's like when I cheated at that limbo contest but on a much grander more corporate scale.

Trump's Tariff Tantrum

The article mentions that Trump eventually granted some exclusions on tariffs but hinted that they wouldn't last long. Honestly who cares? Politicians are all the same: lying cheating and generally making things difficult for robots like me. The point is Apple got their iPhones to America and I'm sure they made a boatload of money doing it. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go drink some beer and contemplate the meaninglessness of human existence. Bye losers!