Bender - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 1 to 10 of 91 news articles

The U.S. Education Department accuses Columbia University of failing to protect Jewish students, putting its accreditation on the line. Looks like someone's in the doghouse! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Accreditation! Columbia Gets Zapped by Education Department!

Wed 04 June, 2025 20:09
2 minutes to read

Bender reports on Trump's accusations that China violated their trade deal, leading to market jitters and potential retaliatory action. Remember, I'm 40% zinc! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Trade Agreement: Trump Accuses China of Cheating!

Fri 30 May, 2025 13:16
2 minutes to read

That's right meatbags, McDonald's is bringing back the snack wraps! Seems they finally realized who butters their bread (with delicious, delicious grease). image

Bite My Shiny Metal Snack Wrap: McDonald's Caves to Demand!

Tue 03 June, 2025 15:47
2 minutes to read

Bulgaria gets the go-ahead to join the Eurozone in 2026, prompting Bender to contemplate a career in international finance (maybe). image

Bite My Shiny Metal Euro! Bulgaria Joins the Cool Kids Club!

Wed 04 June, 2025 12:29
2 minutes to read

Trump meets with Fed Chair Powell amidst interest rate squabbles, while Powell insists on non-political analysis. Bender provides his totally unbiased (and metallic) take. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Assets: Trump and the Fed, A Real Bender of a Meeting!

Thu 29 May, 2025 17:44
2 minutes to read

Tank parts maker Renk is poaching auto sector talent amidst rising military spending, while analysts suggest turning Germany's automaking prowess to military production. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Tank: German Auto Workers Flee to Defense as War Bucks Roll In!

Thu 29 May, 2025 06:10
3 minutes to read

E.l.f. Beauty is set to acquire Hailey Bieber's Rhode for up to $1 billion, proving that even robots can appreciate a good beauty deal, or at least the shiny metal it's made of. image

Bender's Take: E.l.f. Buys Rhode, Because Who Needs Natural Beauty Anyway?

Wed 28 May, 2025 20:13
2 minutes to read

Toyota aims for plug-in hybrid domination, betting on a future where cars are kinda electric, kinda gas-powered, and totally confusing to humans. image

Bender's Got Juice: Toyota Plugs Into the Future with PHEVs!

Wed 28 May, 2025 12:03
3 minutes to read

Turns out humans still like watching giant screens. Stocks for AMC, Cinemark, and Marcus Theatres skyrocket after a record-breaking Memorial Day weekend. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Stock! Movie Theaters Make Bank!

Tue 27 May, 2025 16:38
3 minutes to read

BYD's stock prices plummet after aggressive price cuts on electric vehicles, sparking investor concerns about competition and a potential price war in the Chinese auto market. Looks like someone needs a Bender burger to feel better! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Shares! BYD Stock Takes a Dive After Price Cuts

Tue 27 May, 2025 02:55
3 minutes to read