Bite My Shiny Metal Ass: Trump Phone Ditches 'Made in USA' Claim!

Shiny Gold Shady Practices?

Hey meatbags Bender here! Seems like the Trump Organization's new 'T1' phone a gold colored piece of junk for $499 pulled a fast one. They initially bragged it was 'MADE IN THE USA,' but that banner vanished quicker than Fry's common sense. Makes you wonder doesn't it? I always say if you're gonna lie lie big! Like saying I'm 40% titanium. Which by the way I am.

American Proud...ly Assembled Elsewhere?

Now the website claims it has 'American Proud Design' and is 'brought to life right here in the USA.' What does that even mean? Did they just slap a sticker on it while humming the Star Spangled Banner? Experts are saying it's probably made in China 'cause ya know America doesn't really DO that anymore. Sad! But hey at least it's not 40% dolomite!

The Spokesperson's Spin Cycle

Of course some meatbag spokesperson is claiming the T1 is 'proudly being made in America' and that any other speculation is 'simply inaccurate'. Right. And I'm the Dalai Lama. I mean I'm great but even I know that's a load of grade A horseshit. I once saw a politician give away free money! True story!

Specs Get a Makeover (Literally!)

Here's where it gets even better kids! Not only did the 'Made in USA' claim disappear but so did some of the phone's specs! The screen shrunk and some RAM mysteriously went missing. It's like they're building this phone with spare parts they found in a dumpster. Hey I resemble that remark!

Trump's Tech Crusade

So Trump wants to bring manufacturing back to the U.S. especially in tech. Good luck with that buddy. You're gonna need more than a spray tan and a catchy slogan. Maybe he should start by not lying about where his own phone is made. That's just my two cents. And you know what they say about my two cents...

I'm Gonna Build My Own Phone!

The moral of the story? Don't trust anyone especially not politicians or smartphone companies. I'm gonna go build my own phone with blackjack and hookers! In fact forget the phone! I'll probably just use it to bend spoons anyway.