Good News Everyone! Trump's Potential Air Force One Upgrade Has Pence Seeing Red!

Whatcha Talkin' About Pence?

Alright meatbags Leela here your favorite cyclops journalist reporting live from... well my smelly apartment. Turns out ex Veep Mike Pence is having a case of the vapors over Trump potentially accepting a $400 million jet from Qatar. Said something about Qatar playin' both sides like a two faced politician. Sounds like someone needs a Slurm Loco!

Security? Please! I've Seen Worse!

Pence is all worried about national security. He's saying accepting an Air Force One from Qatar is inconsistent with our intelligence needs. 'The very idea!' Can you believe it? I've faced down killer robots giant brains and Zapp Brannigan and HE'S worried about a plane from Qatar? Get real Pence! You need a Brain Slug Helmet to chill out.

Boeing's to Blame! (According to Trump)

Apparently Trump wants this fancy Qatari jumbo jet—a Boeing 747 8—because Boeing is taking forever to build him a new plane. Classic Trump: always blaming someone else! Sounds like he needs a good dose of Professor Farnsworth's 'What If?' machine to see what a world with timely Boeing deliveries looks like!

Gift Horse? More Like a Space Whale!

This jet's got everyone in a tizzy over the legality and ethics. If Trump takes it it would be the biggest foreign gift the US government has ever gotten. Makes you wonder what kind of strings are attached. Maybe it's powered by dark matter? Or worse sponsored by MomCorp!

Infrastructure or Bust!

Pence thinks if Qatar is so eager to give away money they should just use the $400 million to fix up our military bases. Good thinking Pence! Though personally I'd like to see that money go towards a giant trampoline park. One can dream right?

The Fine Print: It's for the Air Force... and a Library?

So Trump is saying the plane will be given to the US Department of Defense not him personally. Then when he's done being president (again?) it goes to his presidential library foundation. So basically it's a very roundabout way of getting a sweet ride. He's basically saying “I have no strong feelings one way or the other”.