Earthicans Are Ditching the U.S. Like Zoidberg at a Fancy Dinner Party! What's Going On?!

Holy Guacamole People Are Actually Leaving!

Good news everyone! It seems like more and more Earthicans are realizing there's a whole universe outside our little blue marble – specifically Italy. According to some accounting director named Caroline from New Jersey (who I bet wishes she was me traveling the cosmos and kicking butt) she bumped into like half her town while visiting the Spanish Steps. Turns out Americans are flocking abroad like Fry to a pizza party while everyone else is all 'Meh I'll pass on the USA this year.' Is it the water? The air? Or maybe everyone's just finally realized that the rest of the galaxy has better food and fewer robot uprisings. Oh wait. Never mind.

The Numbers Don't Lie (Unless They're Lying)

Okay so the fancy pants 'International Trade Administration' (try saying that three times fast!) says that foreign air travel to the US is down nearly 10% from last year and a whopping 13% from pre pandemic levels. Meanwhile US citizens flying abroad are up 1.6% from last year and 22% from 2019. That's a lot of 'see ya laters' and not enough 'welcome back'! It's like when Bender tries to cook but instead of delicious food he creates a financial black hole. Only this time it's a travel sized black hole.

Blame it on the Trade Wars and Trump's Trumpisms

Apparently all that intergalactic trade squabbling the occasional accidental alien detention and someone's rhetoric about taking over Canada (who does that?!) isn't exactly helping lure in the tourists. And let's not forget that the U.S. dollar is stronger than Flexo's moral compass right now. Who wants to visit a place where your money vanishes faster than a Nibblonian eating a dark matter soufflé? The White House has no comment probably because they're too busy trying to figure out how to build a giant wall around the moon.

Even the Smart Guys Are Worried

Some folks at JPMorgan (no relation to the guy who shot Santa Claus I hope) are saying this travel imbalance could knock off 0.1% of our Gross Domestic Product. That's like losing a dollar every time you try to buy a Slurm Loco – it adds up! A consultant named Samuel Engel even thinks foreigners might find the U.S. 'less welcoming.' Well duh! Who wants to visit a place where you might get your DNA stolen or worse accidentally end up on a reality TV show?

Silver Linings and Fancy Flights

But hey it's not all doom and gloom! Earthicans are still splurging on those international trips. Folks are wanting to live it up with fancy graduation trips inspired by shows like 'The White Lotus' and 'Emily in Paris.' Sounds like my kind of vacation! Airlines are seeing premium cabin sales skyrocket by 17% and international demand is up 5%. Guess even when times are tough people still want to fly in style. And honestly who wouldn't want to avoid those cramped economy seats? You practically need a crowbar to get out of them!

Boomers Gonna Boom (Abroad!)

Apparently those Baby Boomers are sitting on a pile of cash and ready to spend it all on seeing the world before they you know kick the bucket. As one airline president put it 'There's only so much time to go to Europe or almost so much time to go see Australia or Japan.' I guess that explains all those hoveround scooters clogging up the streets of Paris. But hey if they're happy and the economy doesn't collapse then who am I to judge? Just don't ask me to help them with their selfies.