Trump's Tariffs: A Load of Barnacles or Economic Armageddon?

The Sheer Audacity of it All!

Good heavens has it really come to this? Yours truly Stewie Griffin deconstructing economic policy like I'm dissecting Rupert after Brian's had a go at him. Apparently the orange menace Donald Trump slapped some tariffs on goods and the so called 'experts' are in a tizzy trying to figure out if we're all going to be eating cat food by next Tuesday. Frankly I've seen more coherent economic strategies scribbled on Lois' grocery lists.

Where's the Kaboom? There Was Supposed to Be an Earth Shattering Kaboom!

The news is these tariffs haven't exactly sent inflation skyrocketing. Consumer and producer prices are apparently acting like they've just had a Valium. Up a measly 0.1% in May? That's hardly enough to get my evil empire off the ground! All this talk of economic doom and gloom and it turns out to be about as exciting as watching Brian attempt to write a novel. And we all know how that ends – with him drunk and rambling about existential angst.

The Waiting Game: Are We There Yet?

But fear not my little minions for the economic grim reaper may still be lurking around the corner. These tariffs it seems take their sweet time to seep into the economy like Lois trying to understand my diabolical plans. The companies apparently stocked up on goods beforehand so we might just be in the eye of the storm. Nomura's Aichi Amemiya (a name that sounds like a rejected anime character) says the impact is coming. Oh joy.

The Devil is in the Canned Goods (and Coffee)

Of course there are a few telltale signs of economic chicanery. Canned fruits and vegetables because apparently we can't live without them are up in price. And roasted coffee? Good heavens what's a baby genius supposed to do without his caffeine fix? Even tobacco is more expensive. Clearly this is an attack on intellectual productivity. Also major appliances are up which means that my plans to build a doomsday device are going to be slightly more expensive...

Consumers: The Real Puppets of the Economy

Ultimately it all boils down to the poor hapless consumers who much like Peter are easily manipulated. These chaps drive 70% of the economic activity like a drunken Peter piloting a blimp. If they start tightening their belts companies might not have the power to jack up prices. I fear that the citizens may not be able to afford my products when I bring my empire into fruition.

The Fed: Sitting on Their Hands As Usual

And where's the Federal Reserve in all this? Sitting on their hands naturally like Brian during a family crisis. They're waiting to see what happens before they lower interest rates. Apparently they are a little slow on the uptake as it is clear as day that I should be the supreme ruler of all things economy. But fear not I will rise to the top!