Qualcomm to Conquer Beyond Smartphones? Oh, Goody, Another Tech Overlord!

Back in the Game Apparently

Right so JPMorgan in their infinite wisdom – and probably after spilling their morning tea all over their spreadsheets – has decided Qualcomm is worth another look. After a 'period of restriction,' whatever melodramatic nonsense that implies they're now all in. Overweight rating they call it. Sounds like my teddy bear Rupert after Thanksgiving dinner. Apparently there's a 25.3% upside. Because you know the market is *so* predictable. Giggity.

Smartphone Schmuckery

Oh but hold the phone – literally. There's some hand wringing about smartphone demand. Apparently people are buying too many of them or upgrading too fast or something equally pedestrian. As if anyone actually *needs* a new phone every year. Honestly it's all rather tiresome. It's like Lois trying to decorate the house again. Utter chaos.

Diversify or Die Darling!

But fear not for Qualcomm has a cunning plan! Diversification! They're branching out like a particularly invasive species of ivy into the Internet of Things autos... basically anything that isn't a smartphone. Which let's be honest is a smart move. Less competition from those infuriating toddlers with their sticky fingers all over *my* iPad.

IoT? More Like 'Ick' of Things

Internet of Things you say? More like the 'Ick' of Things am I right? I mean who needs a talking toaster? Although if it could make a decent martini I might be persuaded. And Autos? Self driving cars? Just give me a rocket launcher and let me clear the roads myself.

Nuvia? Sounds Like a Skin Cream

And then there's this Nuvia acquisition. Sounds like some overpriced skin cream Lois would buy. Apparently it's about chip design and data centers. Honestly my eyes glaze over. But the point is Qualcomm is dabbling in things that sound terribly important and complicated. Which of course means I should probably invest. Because I'm Stewie Griffin and I always win.

Long Term? I Barely Have the Patience for Dinner!

So the long and short of it is JPMorgan thinks Qualcomm is going to make a fortune by not just relying on smartphones. They're playing the long game. Which frankly is boring. I barely have the patience for dinner let alone a decade long investment strategy. But hey if it means I can finally afford that solid gold bouncy castle I'm in. Now if you'll excuse me I have a world to dominate. And possibly a nap.