Mmm...Medicine! Trump's Cookin' Up Drug Deals Right Here in the U.S. of A!

Woohoo! More Jobs For America!

Alright folks gather 'round! President Trump bless his cotton socks has signed an executive order. Now I don't know what an 'executive order' is but it sounds important like when Marge orders me to take out the trash. Anyway it's all about making drugs right here in the good ol' US of A! Apparently we've been getting our medicine from other countries and Trump says 'Doh! We can't have that!' I mean what if they run out of donuts and medicine at the same time? Disaster!

FDA? More Like 'Finally Doing Awesome'!

So this thingy called the FDA – sounds like a new donut flavor maybe 'Fudge Delight Awesomeness' – is gonna speed things up. They're cutting the red tape whatever that is and helping companies build new places to make drugs faster. Less waiting more medicating! Woohoo! And get this they're gonna crack down on those foreign drug factories. No more Mr. Nice Guy! It's like when I catch Bart sneaking cookies before dinner – time for a 'D'oh!' moment.

No More Surprise Donuts...Wait What?

Apparently those foreign drug factories were getting away with stuff because they knew when the inspectors were coming. But now the FDA is gonna pull a fast one with surprise visits! Take that you ingredient source reporting violating fiends! But who doesn't love a good surprise visit? Especially when it involves donuts but those FDA people probably aren't bringing donuts.

EPA You're Doing Something Right For Once!

Even the EPA is getting in on this! They're gonna help speed up the building of drug factories. I always thought they were just about saving the whales and stuff but hey I'm all for it. Anything to get more medicine faster and maybe they'll also check if any factories are dumping sludge into the river where Blinky the Three Eyed Fish lives!

Tariffs? Sounds Like a Fancy Tea Party!

Trump's also talking about putting tariffs on drugs from other countries. Now I'm not sure what tariffs are but it sounds like a fancy tea party. Maybe with crumpets and little cucumber sandwiches. Anyway these tariffs might make those companies bring their drug making jobs back to America. More jobs more medicine less stress for Homer! Mmm...stress relief...

Pfizer? More Like Fizer Out!

But hold on a minute! The guy in charge of Pfizer is saying that these tariffs are making them rethink investing in America. Hmm that's not good. I mean if they don't invest where will we get our medicine? It's like Krusty Burger running out of Krusty Burgers! It's chaos I tell ya! Pure unadulterated chaos!