Doh! Inflation Slower Than Expected, But Trump's Tariffs Loom Like Marge's Hair!

Mmm Inflation... Less of it!

Woohoo! Apparently this 'inflation' thingy was slower than expected in April. The nerds at the Labor Department probably the same guys who inspect Sector 7G said the Consumer Price Index (that's the cost of stuff right?) went up only 0.2%. That's like barely anything! It's like finding a donut with only a teeny tiny hole! But uh oh sounds like President Trump's tariffs are about to make things go 'inflational' again! D'oh!

Tariffs? Sounds Like Some Kind of Fancy Waffles!

So these 'tariffs' are basically like extra toppings on everything we buy and not the good kind like sprinkles or bacon. Apparently Trump slapped 10% duties on imports which is just a fancy way of saying everything is gonna cost more. Even beer? Nooooooooo! But like a miracle he's kinda backed off on China for now. Phew! That was close! 'I'm never gonna drink another beer! … Okay I'm gonna drink one beer.'

Shelter Costs? Maybe I Should Move into the Power Plant!

The big problem seems to be shelter costs. Those fancy pants houses and apartments are making everything more expensive. Maybe I should just move into the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. I bet Mr. Burns has a spare room... probably filled with radioactive waste and spiders. But hey free rent is free rent! Though I heard he skimps on the free donuts. Can’t win them all.

Eggs cellent News... Sort Of!

Good news for my breakfast egg prices tumbled! 12.7% cheaper. Woohoo! More eggs for me! But wait they're still up 49.3% from last year? That's like finding a half eaten donut in the trash! Still good but kinda disappointing. “Marge where are the eggs?”. I need eggs! I need eggs!

The Fed? Are They the Ones Who Make the Donuts?

There's this thing called the 'Federal Reserve' and they're supposed to keep the economy from going all crazy. They were gonna lower interest rates which is like a discount coupon for the whole country. But now because of these tariffs they might not. So less money for donuts! These guys are worse than Mr. Burns! They should be making donuts instead of messing with the economy!

D'oh! What Does It All Mean?

So basically things are kinda okay now but could get worse because of Trump's tariffs. The egg prices are all over the place I might have to move into the power plant and the Federal Reserve is probably run by a bunch of donut hating robots. As for me? I'm going to Moe's. "To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"