Screw You Guys, I'm Replacing You with AI! Microsoft and Meta's Evil Plan!

Respect My Authoritah...Or Else the Robots Will!

Oh my god you guys this is serious! That d bag Satya Nadella from Microsoft is saying like 30% of their code is written by AI now. AI! You know those stupid robots that are gonna take over the world and make me their butthole slave? He said it at that stupid LlamaCon thing with Zuckerdouche. Honestly it's like they're not even trying to hide their evil plans anymore!

Zuckerberg's a Robot?! Shocking Revelation!

And guess what? Zuckerberg that pasty faced robot from Meta doesn't even know how much of HIS code is written by AI! Probably because HE IS AN AI HIMSELF! He's all like "Oh maybe half of our development will be done by AI next year." Half! You know what half means? Half the jobs gone! Half the money gone! Half the chances of me getting a freakin' pony! This is not cool!

Screw You Hippies! AI is Stealing Your Organic Coding Jobs!

They think they're so smart these companies. All "Oh AI will write better software." Better for who?! Better for those communist robots who want to control us all! Back in my day people wrote code with their hands using organic free range keyboards. Now it's all silicon chips and algorithms. Blame Canada!

It's Coming Right for Our Jobs! Oh My God They're All Gonna Die!

Other companies are doing it too like Google and Shopify. Even that stupid Duolingo bird is replacing people with AI! They're all gonna die! They're all gonna die! They're taking away our jobs our freedom our ability to buy Cheesy Poofs! This is a conspiracy I tell you! A conspiracy!

Vibe Coding? More Like Crap Coding!

And get this some startup called Windsurf is doing this 'vibe coding' thing where you just say a few words and it spits out a whole program! What the hell is vibe coding? It sounds like some hippie garbage. It's probably all powered by crystal energy and unicorn farts. I bet that code is totally unusable!

I'm Going Home! This is Too Much!

This is it you guys. The end is near. The robots are coming for us all. I'm going home to build a bunker out of Cheesy Poof boxes. And if any AI tries to take my stuff I'm gonna kick it in the nuts! Respect my authoritah! Now screw you guys I'm going home!