Screw You Guys, I'm Predicting the Economy!

Respect My Authoritah! (Over Money)

Okay listen up you guys! Some brainiac 'wealth manager' told CNBC that politics is shaking the whole frickin' dog. And I'm like duh! Everything is always someone else's fault. It's probably Kyle's fault. Anyway buckle up because this 'geoeconomics' thing is gonna keep screwing with our lunch money. I'm not sure what any of that means but it sounds like something Kyle would be into. God I hate Kyle!

Half Time Show: More Like Half Brain Show

So apparently a bunch of stuff happened in the last six months. Trade wars 'black swan' moments... I bet that's not even as cool as it sounds. All these tariff threats and pauses made the 'Wall Street fear gauge' go haywire whatever that is. I don't care about markets going up and down I care about my Cheesy Poofs prices. If those go up someone's gonna pay!

Germany's Doing What Now?

Apparently Germany's doing pretty good while France is sucking as usual. Whatever you guys. As long as I have my XBOX I don't care if the whole world goes to hell. But Goldman Sachs is whining that there's too much uncertainty and the 'macro backdrop' is worsening. Shut up Goldman Sachs! You're ruining it for everyone.

Central Banks Take Center Stage? More Like Center Of My Ass Stage!

This week all the world's central bankers are meeting in Sintra Portugal. Who frickin' cares? Probably a bunch of jews. President Trump is still yelling at Jerome Powell which is awesome because Trump is the only one who gets it. Now there's even talk of a 'shadow Fed chair' which sounds like some stupid superhero movie. Screw you guys I'm going home!

Powell's Waiting Game: Lame O!

Powell wants to 'wait and learn' about the economy before doing anything. What a tool! He's just like Butters always waiting for someone else to tell him what to do. Meanwhile Europe's gotta figure out if they're gonna listen to America. Probably just listen to me cause I'm usually right.

Labour's First Year? More Like First Failure!

This Keir Starmer guy in the UK had his first year in power. He thought he could be the cool kid but his approval ratings are in the toilet. He's even fighting with Elon Musk. What a loser! And get this: he actually made trade deals but it didn't fix his problems. Everyone knows you can't fix anything with trade deals you Jew! The real problems are always inside your own house. Probably because your Mom's a *****.