Screw You Guys, I'm Not Buying a House! (Because the Economy Sucks)

Respect My Authoritah... and My Wallet!

Okay listen up you guys! Eric Cartman here reporting live from my mom's basement (which by the way is way better than any of your houses). Apparently nobody wants to buy a house anymore. And I'm like 'Duh!' Mortgage applications are dropping faster than Kenny's life expectancy. According to some nerds at the Mortgage Bankers Association applications to buy a home are down 4%! Four percent you guys! That's almost as much as my body fat percentage! And it's all because of this stupid economy! Screw you guys I'm going home... to my mom's!

Even Last Year's Crappy Rates Were Better!

Get this: even though interest rates were supposedly higher last year the volume of mortgage applications is only 3% higher now. Three percent! You know what else is 3%? My patience for you morons. I mean come on! Last year was probably when I was busy playing superheroes with the Coon and Friends so maybe I missed something in the market but still I'd rather buy that sweet Coon Lair than a house right now!

6.89%? That's Almost as Bad as Kyle's Mom!

So the average interest rate for a 30 year mortgage is 6.89%. 6.89%?! That's almost as high as Kyle's mom's voice. And the points are going up too! Can you believe this crap? It's like they're trying to rip us off! They should just give us free houses like they do with the healthcare... no wait.

Blame Canada! (Or the Economy)

Some dude named Joel Kan from the MBA (Must Be Awful) says it's because of "broader economic uncertainty and signs of labor market weakness." Oh really? I thought it was because of aliens. Or maybe Canada! Everything is always Canada's fault! I'm telling you guys this is a conspiracy! First the housing market then they'll come for our cheeseburger pot pies!

Refinancing? More Like Refu nancing!

And get this even refinancing is down! People are just holding out for lower rates which is frankly the only smart thing any of you guys are doing. Who wants to refinance at almost 7%? That's like paying Butters to give you a massage – totally pointless and probably painful. Besides holding out is what I'm best at.

I'm Going to Casa Bonita!

So what's going to happen? Who knows! But some "economic data" is coming out soon so we'll see if things get better or worse. Me? I'm going to Casa Bonita! At least there I can get some delicious sopaipillas and watch the cliff divers while the economy goes to hell. Screw you guys I'm going home to Casa Bonita!