Screw You Guys, I'm Getting a Folding iPhone! And You Can't Have One!

Respect My Authoritah! Apple's Going Foldable!

Oh my god you guys! Listen up because this is HUGE! Apple yes THE Apple is planning to make a freakin' FOLDING iPhone! I know right? It's about time! And of course I Eric Cartman will be the first to get my grubby little hands on it. Because I deserve it. Respect my authoritah!

Samsung? Seriously? Lame!

Apparently some nerd named Ming Chi Kuo (who even IS that guy?) is saying that Samsung yes THE Samsung who makes phones for poor people is making the displays. Seriously? That's lame! I don't want no stinkin' Samsung screen on MY iPhone! But whatever as long as I get the phone first I guess I can live with it.

Premium Pricing? Good. Keep the Poor People Out!

Kuo dude also said that it's going to have 'premium pricing.' Which is code for 'only rich people can afford it.' YES! This is exactly what I wanted to hear. Keep those stupid poor kids away from MY folding iPhone. They can go back to playing in the dirt with their Samsungs.

The iPhone's Reign of Terror!

Apple's iPhone is like half their business and makes them a bajillion dollars. But even Apple knows they gotta keep things fresh you know? Can't let those Android nerds think they're winning. They're always trying to squeeze more money out of you guys and guess what? It's working.

Folding Phones? More Like Folding Failures!

So apparently some other loser companies like Huawei and Samsung have already made these folding phone things. But they're probably all glitchy and dumb. Who wants a crease in their screen anyway? It's gotta be perfect or its automatically garbage. I expect nothing less than perfection from Apple. And if it's not perfect? I'm gonna sue them. Cartman style!

Screw You Guys I'm Going Home! (With My New iPhone)

Look all you need to know is that I'm getting this phone. And you're probably not. So deal with it. And if you see me with it don't even THINK about asking to touch it. Because it's MINE! Screw you guys I'm going home! To play with my new iPhone!