Deporting American Citizens! Is This My Best Idea Yet?!

Rrrrrright! A Villainous New Policy?

Oh behave! It seems that orange tanned fellow Trump is taking a page right out of my book isn't he? Deporting American citizens... to foreign prisons! Mwahahaha! It's almost as diabolical as my plan to hold the world ransom for... ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Or maybe it's a scheme to get some 'alone time' with El Salvador's President Bukele who knows? Either way color me intrigued. Is this the start of a beautiful supervillain friendship? Or a dastardly rivalry? Time will tell!

The Legality! Details Details...

Apparently Trump's minions – the White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt (a very forgettable name I must say) – are saying that Trump is merely 'looking into' the legality of this scheme. Legality! As if that ever stopped a true supervillain! It's like asking if I've considered the ethical implications of my laser beams! Pfft! Details details. Though I must admit even *I* usually have a lawyer on retainer for these things. You know just in case.

Violent Offenders: Send Them Away!

Now Trump claims he'd only consider shipping off 'the most violent egregious repeat offenders.' Well isn't that convenient? Who decides who's 'egregious' enough? He needs a 'laser' focusing on who to deport. Still I can appreciate the sentiment. If I had a dime for every time I wanted to launch Scott Evil into the sun...but that would only pay for like one nanobot.

El Salvador: A Villain's Vacation Spot?

And El Salvador you say? Home to a notorious prison? Sounds lovely! Maybe I'll book a timeshare. I hear the accommodations are... *ahem*... secure. It seems they're already sending alleged gang members there. And Trump wanted to send those "homegrown criminals" to El Salvador and I say "Why not?" It's just brilliant. Maybe I should relocate my operations. Forget the volcano lair I need a prison lair! And it has to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.

The Case of Kilmar Abrego Garcia

Oh and there's a whole kerfuffle about some Kilmar Abrego Garcia whom the U.S. accidentally deported and El Salvador won't give him back. A very bad mistake on those blokes at the White House and they should have been fired. I should be in charge to get rid of that bureaucratic problem. I might even need to kidnap this El Salvadorian president! It would be a feather in my cap. No one would be so keen to not return my prisoner back when I can just easily take one from him!

Supreme Court Gets Involved!?

Even the Supreme Court is getting in on the action forcing Trump to facilitate Garcia's return. Bah! Bureaucracy! It's the nemesis of every self respecting supervillain! The Supreme Court just wants me to do things the 'right' way with all the paperwork and processes. What do these guys know about world domination and global espionage! They are just jealous of what I can do! But hey it's an interesting scheme. Maybe I'll use this idea myself. I just need to tweak it slightly...and maybe add some sharks. With frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!