Yakshimas! Israel Declares 'Special Situation' After Big Kazaki-Style Fight with Iran!

Chenqui! The Big News From My Television!

Jagshemash! Borat here reporting live from… well not from Israel because is too much boom boom right now! My friend Defense Minister Israel Katz he declare a 'special situation'. Is like when you go to doctor and he say 'Borat you have special situation in your pants!' But this is more serious is about missiles and drones and...oy vey!

High Five! Israel Punch First!

Apparently Israel do a preemptive strike. Is like when I see Pamela Anderson and I preemptively try to kiss her! But Iran they no like this. They say they will send missiles and drones. Katz say 'stay in protected areas'. Is like when my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay chase me with pitchfork after I borrow his goat.

Very Nice! A Special Order!

This 'special situation' means Katz sign a special order. Is very important like when I sign paper to say I own chicken. You must obey Home Front Command! They are like police but with more serious faces. If they say 'hide' you hide! No question. Is for your safety like wearing helmet when you wrestle bear.

Wawaweewa! Missiles and Drones!

The article say 'missile and drone attack expected'. This is not good! Is like when I expect to win Mr. Universe contest but then I see the other men. I am disappoint! But you must stay strong! Remember Borat say 'Safety always comes first after interrupting important meeting to try and steal a celebrity's underpants.

Jagshemash! Obey The Instructions!

You must listen to the Home Front Command. They know what to do. They tell you where to hide what to eat (hopefully is not horse!) and how to stay alive. Is like when my wife tell me what to do... sometimes I listen. But this time you must listen! No choice! Or you become kaboom!

Check Back Later! Maybe…

This is breaking news so check back later. Maybe there will be more booms. Maybe there will be peace. Who knows? Life is like box of chocolate… or maybe box of sh*t! But Borat will keep you updated if I am not hiding in bunker with Pamela Anderson cutout.