Jagshemash! Britain to Make Boom-Boom with America in Glorious Trade Deal!

Very Nice! Britain and America: High Five!

Jagshemash! Borat Sagdiyev here reporting live from... well not from Kazakhstan but close enough! Big news! Britain yes the land of Mr. Bean and bad teeth is about to do the boom boom with America! They are signing a trade deal making Britain the number one lover after America's big announcement of scary tariffs! Very nice! My neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay he says 'Is like when I marry my sister!'

Trump Says 'Chenqui!' to Blighty

The man with the strange hair Donald Trump he say on Truth Social that this deal is 'full and comprehensive'! Like when I describe my mustache! He says it will cement the 'relationship' forever! Chenqui! He is very excited to have Britain as his first announcement. Many more to come he promises! Like my promises to my wife when I say I will bring home more potatoes... which I never do.

Keir Starmer: Britain's New Best Friend

Keir Starmer the U.K. Prime Minister's man he say America is 'indispensable ally'! Like my horse is indispensable to me even when it bites me! He says talks are going very fast like when I chase Pamela Anderson! He will update everyone later but for now it is top secret like my methods for catching chickens.

Tariffs! So Expensive Like a Good Pair of Jeans!

Britain was almost hit with the big scary tariffs but then America say 'Okay we forgive you this time!' Like when I steal sugar from my neighbor and he say 'Okay Borat just this once!' But they still get hit with some duties like the 25% on steel and aluminum. Maybe they should try making things out of wood like my house!

Money Money Money! Is Always Sunny in Rich Country

The Bank of England they cut interest rates! They say it is because of all the tariff trouble in the world. Like when I cut my neighbor's goat's hair because it looked too fancy. They say it will not hurt Britain too much. Hopefully they are right! Otherwise everyone will be sad like when I try to sing American national anthem.

Wa Wa Wee Waa! Victory for Great Success!

So in conclusion Britain and America are now best friends forever! They will trade goods and be happy! Even though there are some problems with money and tariffs everything will be okay! Is great success! Now if you will excuse me I must go back to Kazakhstan and teach my son how to shake hands like a real man! Jagshemash!