Is Trump About To Make Retailers Great Again!?

Jagshemash It Is Borat Here!

Jagshemash my name is Borat Sagdiyev and I am here to tell you about very important meeting in United States of A mer i ca! President Donald J. Trump he of the golden hair and powerful…voice is having a pow wow with big bosses of Walmart Target Home Depot and Lowe's. Why? Because these tariffs are making everyone say 'WA WA WEE WA!' Tariffs are like throwing stone into peaceful lake but instead of ripple it makes prices go up! Very nice…or maybe not!

Trump vs. The Retailers: A Great Success?

These big retailers they sell everything! From toilet paper to tiny hats for cats (though I not see tiny hats for cats). But now because of President Trump's 'very good' trade policies they are sweating like me after running from Pamela Anderson! My government sources tell me the meeting is supposed to be secret! Like my cousin Bilo's marriage to goat! But news is out like when I showed my 'cultural learnings' in crowded room. Awkward!

Walmart: King of the Grocery Aisle!

Walmart is big like Kazakhstan! They say two thirds of their stuff is made in A mer i ca. Very patriotic! The rest comes from China and Mexico which are ‘most significant’. My neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay he say 'Walmart is number one retailer!' I think he right! But now maybe they have to pay more for things. This is problem!

Target: Not So Target ed for Success?

Ah Target. Known for clothes and home goods that are 'inexpensive and chic.' I not know what 'chic' means but it sounds fancy! They get a lot of things from overseas which is now like trying to cross border with bad passport. Their sales are flat like my sister's chest. They project only 1% growth. Wa wa wee wa this is not good sign!

What is the future? I not know!

So President Trump and retail bigwigs they will talk about tariffs and economy. Will they find solution? Will prices go down? Or will everyone have to live in hole like when I lived in gypsie camp? Only time will tell! Until then I will keep reporting with truth and humor for the glory of Kazakhstan! Chenqui!

Stay Tuned for More High Five!

This is developing news like my crush on Azamat! Check back for updates! Maybe I will learn something else important like how to fly plane or make American pie! Until then stay sexy but not too sexy. Chenqui!