Great Success! Trump and Apple Man Make Deal, Maybe Very Nice!

Trump Makes Boom Boom with Apple Boss!

Jagshemash! Borat here bringing you very exciting news from America! The strongman Donald Trump he say he talk to Apple leader Tim Cook! This after big agreement between America and China to stop the tariffs for a while. Like when I stop chasing Pamela Anderson on the beach... for a few minutes! Very nice!

Apple Stock Makes Happy Dance!

Wall Street they go crazy like Azamat after he drinks fermented horse milk! Apple stock jump up like Kazakh gymnast! Trump say Tim Cook will make even bigger numbers maybe build many factories in United States. Is like Kazakhstan building giant statue of me... almost!

500 Billion Dollar Very Impressive!

Apple before say they will spend $500 billion to make things in America. Maybe they will build servers in Houston where people say 'yee haw!' Is very different from 'Jagshemash!'. This cooling of trade war is good for Apple because they make many devices in China. Chenqui!

Tariffs Still Give the Ouch!

But not everything is peaches and cream like Hulya's face after she put on make up. There still some tariffs left like unwanted house guest. Some Apple things like phones and computers get special treatment but others still pay tariffs. Apple also has to pay tariffs in places like India and Vietnam. Is like when I must pay fine for wearing mankini in public!

Trump Wants Apple in America Very Patriotic!

Trump want Apple to make everything in America including iPhone! Many experts they say is difficult and expensive. Is like trying to teach Azamat manners at fancy dinner party! Cook before say Apple getting things from Vietnam and India but he no want to guess what will happen next. Is difficult to predict like weather in Kazakhstan. Very mysterious!

Apple No Comment Very Secret!

Apple people they no want to talk about this. They are very secret like my uncle's collection of... Never mind! Anyway is good news for America maybe? Time will tell. Until then stay sexy! Jagshemash!