Bite My Shiny Metal Tariffs! Is Dropshipping Dead?!

Oh the Humanity! (And the Tariffs!)

Alright meatbags listen up! Your favorite bending unit Bender Bending Rodriguez is here to report on the latest economic dumpster fire. Seems like those on again off again tariffs from that orange guy Trump are causing more chaos than a robot strip club after payday. Turns out dropshipping businesses are getting bent over harder than I bend girders after a few shots of Ol' Janx Spirit. They're the collateral damage in this global game of economic Twister.

Dropshipping? More Like Dropscrewed!

So some sap named Kamil Sattar (probably named after a bad Kpop band) who runs a dropshipping gig is crying about a 33% drop in revenue. He sells junk like outerwear and phone bling – stuff that probably falls apart faster than Fry's attention span. Dropshipping for those of you too lazy to Google is where these guys sell stuff they don't even own shipping directly from China. Sounds like a scam to me! But now tariffs are making it harder to rip off… uh I mean *serve* the consumer.

145% Tariff?! That's More Than My BAC on a Bender!

This Kamil guy is whining that the 145% tariff on Chinese goods is squeezing his business. He’s had to raise prices and now he can't sell as much garbage in the U.S. as before. 60% of his products used to go to the U.S. now it's down to like 20 30%. He’s focusing on Europe now. Good luck with those picky Europeans pal. They probably want their robot made goods to have *artistic* value. HA!

De Minimis? More Like De Minimum Wage for Robots!

But the real kick in the circuits? Trump killed the de minimis exemption. This was a loophole that let shipments under $800 enter the U.S. duty free. Now starting May 2nd these goods from China and Hong Kong get smacked with a duty of 30% or $25 per item and it goes up to $50 per item next year. That's like charging me extra for every beer I chug. Unacceptable!

Million Packages Stuck?! More Like Million Problems!

Apparently a million packages piled up at U.S. ports when they briefly suspended this exemption back in February. Talk about a logistical nightmare! Kamil the Dropshipper says products are getting stuck at the border and customers want refunds. No duh! He’s so upset he's thinking about not selling Chinese products in the U.S. Well maybe he should just switch to Bender brand benders instead! Made with real metal... mostly stolen!

Survival of the Fittest (Or the Most Diversified)

So what’s the solution? Diversify dummies! Get your goods from somewhere other than China and sell to someone other than Americans. Industry insiders say those small businesses that rely on China will get completely wrecked because they "can't even run their business anymore" according to some lady named Julia Xu co founder & CEO of Wayo. Another dude Yinglan Tan founding managing partner at Insignia Ventures Partners is saying that micro entrepreneurs with just one source of supply and one source of customer are going to be in deep trouble! As for me I'll stick to bending and brewing my own beer. At least I know where *that* comes from... mostly.