Woohoo! Southwest Airlines May Finally Get With the Times (and Maybe Serve Donuts in Lounges?)

D'oh! Southwest Thinks About Getting Fancy?

Hey everyone Homer Simpson here reporting live from… well my couch but I read this thing online and it's about Southwest Airlines. Apparently CEO Bob Jordan – not to be confused with Michael Jordan who I'd rather see make donuts than fly planes – says they might get all fancy pants with airport lounges and those premium seats. Mmm premium seats… sounds comfier than Lenny's lap on a long flight!

Mmm Lounges! Where's the Free Beer?

So this Bob guy says Southwest is thinking about lounges. Lounges! That's where the rich people go to eat peanuts and talk about… things. I bet they have free beer! Maybe even Duff! If Southwest has a lounge I'm going. Forget Moe's this could be my new hangout. I'll bring my own pink frosted donut.

Long Haul Flights? To Europe? Woohoo!

And get this! They might even fly to Europe! Europe! I've always wanted to go there mostly to see if they have donuts that are better than ours. (Spoiler alert: They don't.) But imagine Springfield to Paris… that's a flight I'd actually stay awake for! I'd be like 'Take me to your Eiffel Tower!' D'oh I hope they have good TV on the plane.

No More Open Seating? That's Unpossible!

They're also talking about getting rid of the open seating thing. You know where you run for a good seat like it's the last donut on Earth. It seems they are undoing some of their policies. I don’t know about this it’s like they want to be all high falutin and stuff like Delta. 'Stupid Lisa!' No wait… 'Stupid Delta!'

Nashville? More Like Nash Yum Yum!

Apparently Nashville is where all the fancy people who want lounges and first class live. Nashville! I thought that was just a place with country music. But if they love donuts and first class maybe I should move there. Marge pack our bags! We're going to Nash Yum Yum!

Still Waiting on Those New Planes… D'oh!

But here's the kicker: They're still waiting on those new Boeing 737 Max 7s. It seems Boeing is taking longer than it takes me to eat a whole box of donuts. So don't hold your breath on those fancy flights just yet. But hey maybe they'll give us free donuts while we wait! I’m not normally a religious man but if you’re up there please save me Superman!