Holy Mother of Pearl! Earth Startup Turns Water Waste into Liquid Assets and Sucks Up Air Pollution

Drought? More Like a D'oh rout!

Alright meatbags listen up! Your planet's dryer than Fry's hair after a Bender bender! Seems like every dirtball corner of Earth is facing some serious water shortages. But guess what? Some eggheads are finally doing something about it. This company Capture6 is trying to clean and reuse water. Smart right? I mean it's not as smart as having one giant eye but hey baby steps.

Turning Trash into Treasure (and Clean Water!)

So here's the deal. Water treatment ain't cheap. It guzzles energy like Bender at a brewery and spits out waste that costs even more to ditch. But Capture6 outta Berkeley California – which I'm told isn't controlled by giant brains in jars – claims they got a fix. They're turning industrial and water treatment waste into clean water AND sucking carbon dioxide out of the air! Double whammy just like me when I punch a robot for being a jerk!

Lye Lye Miss American Pie...

Apparently they take waste from water treatment plants – the nasty stuff called brine which is basically super salty water – and strip the good water out. Then they do some hocus pocus and turn the salt into lye. Turns out this lye stuff grabs CO2 right out of the air! Their CEO Ethan Cohen Cole (sounds like a professor at Mars University) says that they return fresh water to their partners and capture CO2 from the air. It is as simple as that anyone can do it.

Palmdale's Paradise Found?

They're working in places like Western Australia South Korea and even good old California which is drier than the Professor's lab coat after he's invented something explosive. The Palmdale Water District which is not a district where palms grow is testing this tech and expects to save a ton of money. Scott Rogers assistant general manager claims it could save them 10% on capital costs and 20 40% on operational costs. Plus they're recovering 94 98% of water that would normally be wasted. Holy chalupas! Could this finally be a good news story for the planet for once?

Money Money Money! (It's a Rich Man's World)

Capture6 has raked in $27.5 million from investors. And get this: Cohen Cole says the whole process could run on renewable energy. So all that CO2 they capture will be net negative. Meaning it actually *helps* the environment! Then they can sell carbon credits for even more cash. I guess the Nibblonians were right – sometimes you gotta spend money to save the universe (or in this case just one little planet).

Trump Strikes Again!

Of course because Earthicans can't help but step on their own feet the Trump Administration apparently canned $3.7 billion worth of awards for new tech including carbon capture. Morons! Luckily Capture6 got some funding from the U.S. Department of Energy and California so they're still kicking. For now. Remember people always be wary of politicians. They're often more dangerous than a MomCorp robot on a rampage. Just sayin'.